JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: How to become a bitch



(nil): Akis Karnouskos (akis(@)ceid.upatras.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τρι 10 Ιούν 1997 - 08:11:58 EEST

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               GUIDELINE FOR WOMEN ...
                 How to become a Bitch
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1. Be already a native Bitch ...

2. When asked "Is something bothering you?" reply "no" then get
pissed off when you are believed.

3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves
parties, start dating him, and immediately expect him to stop this
behavior.

4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the
evening.

5. Always hide very important events in very unimportant terms so you
can have something to be pissed about when your boyfriend declines
because he has pressing business: i.e. You say "It's no big deal, but
I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you
are not busy this weekend." when you mean "It means a great deal to
me for you to see my family with me this weekend if at all possible!"

6. Whine

7. If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from
your almost superhuman level of daily achievement; if he is trying to
sleep it's because he is lazy.

8. No matter what the activity, he doesn't do it as well as a past
boyfriends.

9. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.

10. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.

11. Complain

12. Hate any bar he likes.

13. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything - except when
paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beers, clothes, etc. -
these are required gifts proving his love.

14. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your
cycle, tell him you're irregular from all the stress of your life.

15. Remember that ANY woman who so much as stares at your boyfriend
must be labeled a WHORE and your network of friends must be informed
immediately to spread this as quick as possible.

16. Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty about doing
anything other than catering to your needs.

17. Break into tears for no apparent reason, then use number 2.

18. Ask for help in some endeavor then become livid when it is given.

19. Weasel yourself into your boyfriend's group of friends, break up
with him, then make sure you are present at every gathering for the
next month just to rub it in.


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