(nil): George Anagnostopoulos (firefly(@)hol.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 13 Φεβ 1998 - 02:45:09 EET
It was a warn Southern California evening when the jury reached a
verdict in the O. J. Simpson case. The nation was anxiously awaiting the
jury's verdict and newsmen were rapidly arriving on the rumors that the
decision would finally be announced. At that moment, Judge Ito was in
his backyard Bar-B-Qing filet mignon for the family's evening dinner.
The bailiff phoned the Ito residence and when Mrs. Ito answered,
requested that the Judge be notified and suggested that the judge should
return to the court house as soon as possible. Mrs. Ito refused the
bailiff's request because, she insisted, "HIS HONOR WAS AT STEAK."
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he
was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the
beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Mike, this wouldn't be your
new beat out here in the sticks, would it? "That it is," Mike replied
grimly, "ever since I arrested Judge Ito on his way to the masquerade
ball." "You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat. "How was I to know
that his convict suit was only a costume." demanded Mike. "Well," mused
Pat, ""tis life and there's a lesson in this somewhere." "That there
is," replied Mike. "'TIS WISE NEVER TO BOOK A JUDGE BY HIS COVER."
Miguel Rodriquez long suffered from insomnia. It was a rare night that
he slept more than an hour. He had consulted numerous physicians in
Mexico and the United States but none had been able to help him. Even
the strongest sedatives could not give him a restful night of sleep. One
day, Miguel met and fell in love with a beautiful senoriita named Esta
Gonzales. Now when he wants to sleep he just looks at her picture.
Miguel has known from his childhood that WHEN YOU SEE ESTA, YOU SLEEP.
Nero was talking finances with his advisors. Although they were filling
the Coliseum for all their events, they were losing money. He asked his
chief financial advisors to determine the reason. After lengthy
investigation and analysis they came to a conclusion and went to see
Nero. "Have you found the cause?" he asked. " We have," he was told.
"THE LIONS ARE EATING UP ALL OF THE PROPHETS."
A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van -- you know,
shag carpets, big double bed in the back, all of that -- and suddenly
the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, "Oh lover, whip me!
Please whip me!" Well, the guy, not wanting to pass up an opportunity
like that, but unsure what to do as he has no whips around, gets an
inspired flash, opens one window, snaps the antenna off his van, and
proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sado-masochistic
ecstasy. Almost a week later the girl notices that the welts she
sustained are beginning to fester a bit and goes to her doctor. The
doctor takes one look at the wounds and exclaims, "WOW! LOOKS LIKE
YOU'VE GOT A BAD CASE OF VAN AERIAL DISEASE!"
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