JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Re: Foreign Office



(nil): Sofia Anagnostopoulou (sofia(@)eexi.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Σαβ 21 Φεβ 1998 - 11:09:29 EET

Kalhmera paidia,

Ena joke apo ton aale, sorry gia ta ">".

---------------snip,snip--8X------------------------------------------------
-----------------------

>Bill Gates calls the Belgian Police:
>
> "Brussels police department, how may I assist you?"
>
> "Uh.. yes.. I just got hit in the face with a cream pie."
>
> "Okay, sir. Have you called the Brussels police department before?"
>
> "No"
>
> "Well, let me get a little information about you for our records. Your
> name?"
>
> "Bill Gates"
>
> "Country?"
>
> "The USA"
>
> "Native language?"
>
> "English"
>
> "Okay, sir. Your police department ID number is BP31415927. Please use
> this
> number the next time you call. Now, you say you were hit in the face with
> a
> pie?"
>
> "Yes, I was just about to meet with the Belgian Prime Minister. One
person
> distracted me while another hit me with a cream pie."
>
> "We've had other customers report that they were hit in the face with a
> custard pie. Are you sure it was a cream pie?"
>
> "Well, I have white stuff all over my face and I don't see any custard,
so
> I
> really don't think it was a custard pie."
>
> "Have you visited the Prime Minister before?"
>
> "Yes"
>
> "Were you hit in the face with a pie then?"
>
> "No"
>
> "Hmm... have you visited any other Prime Ministers in the past month?"
>
> "Yes"
>
> "Any pies then?"
>
> "No"
>
> "Okay, well.. let's try something. Go outside the building and come in
> again. I'll wait."
>
> "Just a minute.." <several minutes pass> "Okay, I'm back."
>
> "Did you get hit by another pie?"
>
> "Of course not"
>
> "Well sir, I don't know what could have caused the first pie, but it
looks
> like things are working fine now. I'll make a note of the problem,
though.
> If it happens again, please note the exact details of the situation and
> call
> us again. Thank you for calling the Brussels Police Department. <click>"
>
>-----------The second is better
>
> Now that Bill Gates has moved into his brand spanking new house
> in the Seattle suburbs, the following is a conversation
> overheard last week:
>
> Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
>
> Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for
the
>
> first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"
>
> Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a
> little
> smaller than we anticipated."
>
> Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the
> release
> date."
>
> Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."
>
> Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger
> living room; or you can use Stacker."
>
> Bill: "Stacker?"
>
> Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the
> room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the
> couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when
> you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put
> it
> back when you're done."
>
> Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light
fixtures.
>
> The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The
> threads run the wrong way."
>
> Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play.
> You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."
>
> Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular.
> How
> do I fix that?"
>
> Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."
>
> Bill: "You're kidding!?"
>
> Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."
>
> Bill: "<sigh> Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have
> guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water
> pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."
>
> Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture fails to
> terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other
> fixtures."
>
> Bill: "And how do I fix that?"
>
> Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn
> off
> the water at the street, turn it back on, re-enter the house and then
> you'll be
> back on track."
>
> Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"
>
> Contractor: "Hey, remember, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy
it."
>
>
> Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"
>
> Contractor: "Oh, in your next house-which will be ready to release
> sometime
> near the end of 1998. Actually it was due out earlier this year,
> but we've had some delays..."

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