JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: JL - dictionary



(nil): Sofia Anagnostopoulou (sofia(@)eexi.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 04 Μάρ 1998 - 00:47:10 EET

Isos einai palio, alla den to eixa ksanadei mexri shmera pou
to estile o Mixalhs. Enjoy..

:>Nim

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 Women's English:

 Yes = No

 No = Yes

 Maybe = No

 I am tired = I am bored, I want to go home and call Mr. no 2.

 I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

 We need = I want

 It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

 We need to talk = I need to complain.

 Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

 I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

 You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

 You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

 Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

 This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

 I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

 Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

 I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

 Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

 How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
 going to like.

 I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
 on TV.

 Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

 You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

 Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

 I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is
 Important.

 The same old thing = Nothing

 Nothing = Everything

 Everything = My PMS is acting up.

 Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

Men's English:

 "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

 "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

 "I'm tired" = I'm tired.

 "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
 you.

 "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
 you.

 "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

 "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

 "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

 "What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about
 this.

 "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma
 are you going through now?

 "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

 "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

 "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

 "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look
 that much different!

 "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a
 deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

 "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
 with other guys.

 (while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress
 and let's go home!

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