JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Humour : Different Animals



(nil): Markos Theologitis (ch93043(@)central.ntua.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Δευ 23 Μάρ 1998 - 16:39:28 EET

>
>1. Men are biologically incapable of letting a woman light a barbeque
>
>2. Men drive to a party, women drive back.
>
>3. Heterosexual women are not frightened of lesbians, whereas
> heterosexual men are terrified of homosexuals - once they are
> pointed out to them, by women.
>
>4. Men have flu, women have colds.
>
>5. Women do not replace tops on jars and tubes. Men put them on so
> tightly they cannot be removed at all.
>
>6. Men do one thing well at a time, e.g. drink a cup of coffee. In the
same
> time a woman can make breakfast, make the children's sandwiches,
> organise the window cleaner, phone the office, dress the children,
> write the shopping list, iron a shirt and de-flea the cat. Women have
> not yet realised that this is an evolutionary disadvantage.
>
>7. Men warm their posteriors, women do not.
>
>8. Women's posteriors enable them to sit comfortably on the floor, men's
> do not.
>
>9. Any man who regularly visits his mother is a mummy's boy; a woman
> who does the same is a good daughter.
>
>10. A man who has no difficulty undressing an adult woman will
> nevertheless prove incapable of fitting a small child into a baby gro.
>
>11. A woman believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house; a
> man believes that visitors will be impressed by his large stereo.
>
>12. Exactly the same haircut will cost L30 more for a woman than it will
> for a man.
>
>13. Men make lists (but not this one.)
>
>
>TOP FIVE REASONS COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE
>
>5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
>4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for
> future references.
>3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is
> incomprehensible to everyone else.
>2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative
> as " If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not
> going to tell you."
>1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
> half your paycheck on accessories for it.
>
>In the interest of gender equality ...
>
>TOP FIVE REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE
>
>5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
>4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've
> established a network connection.
>3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more
> than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
>2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded
> in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already
> invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to
> remain with an under-powered system.
>1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you
> have their attention.

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