JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: jokes



(nil): Christos Minias (cpm(@)ziplink.net)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 03 Απρ 1998 - 19:11:55 EEST

 
____________________
Christos Minias
ITS Associates, Inc.
Cpm(@)itsww.com
____________________

attached mail follows:


 
    # 8
    A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get
    you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
    responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating
    something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let
    me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6
    shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
 
    # 7
    A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated
    next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.. They exchange brief hellos
    and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
    He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting
    book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians
    have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest
    average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
    He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
 
    # 6
    One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband
    gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her
    arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
    gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
    The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few
    minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
    This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist
    appointment tomorrow too?"
 
    # 5
    Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
    for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to
    his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to
    stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested
    that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill
    indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
    the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came
    home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that
    something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
    "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous
    urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you
    didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got
    fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle
    slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."
 
    # 4
    A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a
    coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left
    breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets
    out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this
    is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast
    to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her
    right breast and this brings a moan from his wife. He rushes out
    and tells the doctor. The doctor says this is amazing and is a
    real break through. The doctor then suggests the man should go
    in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a
    personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The
    man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a
    sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks
    what happen to which the man replies: "She choked."
 
    # 3
    A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the
    alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll
    make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals
    inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll
    then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for
    witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. "The
    crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his
    trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The
   gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the
    man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of
    Its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals
    unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free
    drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another
    offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell
    over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the
     bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to
     hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
 
    # 2
    A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he
    notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big
    black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7
    foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound
    right ball, Turner Brown". The small white guy faints !! The
    big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to,
    slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy.
    "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what
    did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot
    tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right
    ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says,
    "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around.'"
 
    # 1
    This one made it No.1 in just 1 day !!!!
    Q) What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night?
    A) "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!" >>
 

attached mail follows:


In a message dated 3/16/98 6:22:43 PM, Xxchief wrote:

<<
                                  The Top 8 Sexual Jokes.

   # 8
   A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get
   you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
   responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating
   something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let
   me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6
   shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

   # 7
   A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated
   next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.. They exchange brief hellos
   and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
   He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting
   book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians
   have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest
   average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
   He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

   # 6
   One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband
   gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her
   arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
   gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
   The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few
   minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
   This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist
   appointment tomorrow too?"

   # 5
   Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
   for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to
   his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to
   stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested
   that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill
   indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
   the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came
   home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that
   something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
   "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous
   urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you
   didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got
   fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle
   slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

   # 4
   A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a
   coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left
   breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets
   out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this
   is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast
   to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her
   right breast and this brings a moan from his wife. He rushes out
   and tells the doctor. The doctor says this is amazing and is a
   real break through. The doctor then suggests the man should go
   in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a
   personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The
   man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a
   sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks
   what happen to which the man replies: "She choked."

   # 3
   A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the
   alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll
   make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals
   inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll
   then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for
   witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. "The
   crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his
   trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The
  gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the
   man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of
   Its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals
   unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free
   drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another
   offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell
   over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the
    bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to
    hit me on the head with the beer bottle".

   # 2
   A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he
   notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big
   black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7
   foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound
   right ball, Turner Brown". The small white guy faints !! The
   big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to,
   slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy.
   "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what
   did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot
   tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right
   ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says,
   "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around.'"

   # 1
   This one made it No.1 in just 1 day !!!!
   Q) What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night?
   A) "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"

>>

attached mail follows:


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                                  The Top 8 Sexual Jokes.

   # 8
   A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get
   you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
   responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating
   something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let
   me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6
   shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

   # 7
   A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated
   next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.. They exchange brief hellos
   and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
   He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting
   book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians
   have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest
   average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
   He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

   # 6
   One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband
   gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her
   arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
   gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
   The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few
   minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
   This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist
   appointment tomorrow too?"

   # 5
   Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
   for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to
   his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to
   stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested
   that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill
   indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
   the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came
   home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that
   something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
   "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous
   urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you
   didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got
   fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle
   slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

   # 4
   A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a
   coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left
   breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets
   out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this
   is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast
   to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her
   right breast and this brings a moan from his wife. He rushes out
   and tells the doctor. The doctor says this is amazing and is a
   real break through. The doctor then suggests the man should go
   in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a
   personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The
   man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a
   sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks
   what happen to which the man replies: "She choked."

   # 3
   A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the
   alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll
   make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals
   inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll
   then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for
   witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. "The
   crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his
   trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The
  gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the
   man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of
   Its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals
   unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free
   drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another
   offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell
   over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the
    bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to
    hit me on the head with the beer bottle".

   # 2
   A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he
   notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big
   black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7
   foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound
   right ball, Turner Brown". The small white guy faints !! The
   big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to,
   slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy.
   "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what
   did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot
   tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right
   ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says,
   "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around.'"

   # 1
   This one made it No.1 in just 1 day !!!!
   Q) What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night?
   A) "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"

______________________________________________________________________

 Joke of the Day ... Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων
 Πληροφορίες --> https://anekdota.duckdns.org/jokes_list.html
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