JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: A3izoun Prosoxis



(nil): Alex Akranidis (a94-3430(@)amalia.ee.upatras.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Κυρ 24 Μάι 1998 - 02:38:00 EEST

(Edw einai o xwros pou tha eprepe na brisketai to
parapono/brisimo/apofthegma/genikwskathemalakiapoumouerxetaistomyalo
alla tora den exw empneysi kai apofasisa na kano pio apla ta pragmata)

Akolouthei joke:

Ta parakatw einai forwarded kai a3izoun prosoxis...

Oxymoron: Legal Intelligence...

The following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys
during trials, and in certain cases, the responses
given by insightful witnesses:

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which was sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autoposy started around 8:30 pm."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy."

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "You were shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autoposy, did your check for a
pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere."

Kai ena pou akousa prosfata:

Giati oi skwtsezoi forane foustes;

Giati ta probata akoune to fermouar apo milia makria...

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