JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: exmm my first one



(nil): George Stratigos (gstratig(@)freemail.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Κυρ 24 Μάι 1998 - 11:08:54 EEST

Einai h prwth fora pou stelnw anekdota se mailing list..
perimenw comments

Giorgos
Politikos Mixanikos..kai fadaros..:(

You may already have this one, but there are some new ones at the
>> > > bottom.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
>> > >
>> > > PLATO: For the greater good.
>> > >
>> > > ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
>> > >
>> > > KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
>> > >
>> > > TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the
establishment
>> > > would
>> > > let it take.
>> > >
>> > > SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
we
>> > > were
>> > > quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>> > >
>> > > RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
>> > >
>> > > CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has
gone
>> > > before.
>> > >
>> > > HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its
pancreas.
>> > >
>> > > ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of
the
>> > > road
>> > > was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken
was
>> > > faced
>> > > with significant challenges to create and develop the
>> > > competencies
>> > > required for the newly competitive market. Andersen
>> > Consulting,
>> > > in a
>> > > partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken
by
>> > > rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
>> > implementation
>> > > processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),
Andersen
>> > > helped
>> > > the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge,
capital
>> > and
>> > > experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and
>> > > technology in
>> > > support of its overall strategy within a Program Management
>> > > framework.
>> > > Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of
road
>> > > analysts
>> > > and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep
>> > > skills in
>> > > the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary
of
>> > > meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital,
>> > > both
>> > > tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with
each
>> > > other in
>> > > order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and
>> > > successfully
>> > > architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value
>> > framework
>> > > across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The

>> > > meeting
>> > > was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an
>> > > impactful
>> > > environment which was strategically based, industry-focused,

>> > and
>> > > built
>> > > upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and
>> > aligned
>> > > with
>> > > the chicken's mission,
>> > > vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the
>> > creation
>> > > of a
>> > > total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting
>> > helped
>> > > the
>> > > chicken change to become more successful.
>> > >
>> > > LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black
man.
>> > > The
>> > > chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and
>> > keep
>> > > him
>> > > down.
>> > >
>> > > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens
>> > > will
>> > > be free to cross roads without having their motives called
into
>> > > question.
>> > >
>> > > MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto

>> > the
>> > > chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed
>> > > the
>> > > road, and there was much rejoicing.
>> > >
>> > > FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How
>> > > many
>> > > more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
>> > >
>> > > RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I
>> > repeat,
>> > > the
>> > > chicken did NOT cross the road.
>> > >
>> > > MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the
road.
>> > > Who
>> > > cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever
>> > motive
>> > > there was.
>> > >
>> > > JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
>> > > doesn't
>> > > anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken
doing
>> > > walking
>> > > around all over the place, anyway?"
>> > >
>> > > FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken
>> > > crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>> > >
>> > > BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000,
>> > > which
>> > > will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
>> > important
>> > > documents, and balance your checkbook.
>> > >
>> > > OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken
cross
>> > > the
>> > > road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same

>> > > time,
>> > > whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken
>> > crossing?"
>> > >
>> > > DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
>> > > naturally
>> > > selected in such a way that they are now genetically
disposed
>> > to
>> > > cross
>> > > roads.
>> > >
>> > > EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
>> > moved
>> > > beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
>> > >
>> > > BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

>> > >
>> > > RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road ..
it
>> > > transcended it.
>> > >
>> > > ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
>> > >
>> > > COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
>> > >
>> > > CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual
>> > > relations
>> > > with the chicken.
>> > >
>> > > BOY GEORGE : I'm happy the chicken crossed over. More
chickens
>> > > should cross to this side of the road.
>> > >
>> > > FOGHORN LEGHORN : Sayyyyyy, where, I say, where did that
cute
>> > > chick go?
>> > >
>> > > PAMELA ANDERSON : Gosh, did you see it? That poor chicken
had
>> > > no lips at all...
>> > >
>> > > O.J. SIMPSON : I was nowhere near the chicken. I never
wanted
>> > to
>> > > hurt it,
>> > > and the knife found is not mine.
>> > >
>> > > ELVIS : Uh-huhhh, huhhh, the chicken can do, what, it wants
to
>> > > do, as long
>> > > as it lays off my shoes, now don't you, step on my blue
suede
>> > > shoes.
>> > >
>> > > EDDIE MURPHY : What the fuck is everyone asking about the
>> > goddamn
>> > > chicken for? Who gives a shit?!
>> > >
>> > > SPICE GIRLS : Stop right nowww, thank you very much, I
already
>> > > had some
>> > > chicken for my lu-unch.
>> > >
>> > > IVANA TRUMP : That chicken should have had the coop, it
>> > deserves
>> > > it. The rooster should have crossed the
road.
>> > >
>> > > OPRAH : So, you're telling me that after many months where
your
>> > > father beat your mother, and your brother got

>> > > jailed for drug use, you thought your
>> > > only option was to cross that road?
>> > >
>> > > KEVIN KOSTNER : You know, this moving chicken story, with
the
>> > > right script,
>> > > location and soundtrack, can be my next epic movie.
>> > >
>> > > BARBIE : Gee, does the chicken come with it's own pink nest?

>> > >
>> > > What's your comment????

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