JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: What We Say vs. What We Mean



(nil): Stathis o Asteios (asteios(@)hotmail.com)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 25 Ιούν 1998 - 17:38:11 EEST

> > >THE MAN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
> > >---------------------------------------------------------------
> > >We need = I want
> > >It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
> > >Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
> > >We need to talk = I need to complain
> > >You're...so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
> > >You're certainly attentive tonight! = Is sex all you ever think
about?
> > >I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
> > >This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
> > >I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
...
> > >I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of
white
> > >Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there
> > >I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
> > >Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
> > >How much do you love me? = I did something today you're not going
to
> > >like
> > >I'll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good
game
> > >on TV
> > >Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
> > >You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
> > >Yes = No
> > >No = No
> > >Maybe = No
> > >I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
> > >Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix so you'd better get
used
> > >to it
> > >I'm not yelling! = Yes I'm yelling because I think it's important
> > >All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that
> > >we're
> > >stopping at the cosmetics
> > >department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses,
and
> > >those
> > >sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your check
> > >book?
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH
> > >-----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >I'm hungry = I'm hungry
> > >I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
> > >I'm tired = I'm tired
> > >Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with
> > >you
> > >Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex
with
> > >you
> > >Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
> > >May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
> > >Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> > >You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
> > >What's wrong? = I don't see why you're making such a big deal out
of
> > >this
> > >What's wrong? = what meaningless, self inflicted psychological
trauma
> > >are
> > >you going through now?
> > >What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
> > >I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
> > >I love you = Let's have sex now
> > >I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
> > >Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
> > >Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look
that
> > >much different!
> > >Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep
> > >person and maybe then you'd like to > have sex with me
> > >Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to
have
> > >sex with you
> > >I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any frigging dress
and
> > >let's go home!

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