JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: simpe logic + cats & docs



(nil): Vangelis Damtsios (vangelis(@)micromuse.com)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 12 Φεβ 1999 - 13:50:38 EET

SMART MAN + SMART WOMAN = ROMANCE

SMART MAN + DUMB WOMAN = PREGNANCY

DUMB MAN + SMART WOMAN = AFFAIR

DUMB MAN + DUMB WOMAN = MARRIAGE

SMART BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROFITS

SMART BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = PRODUCTION

DUMB BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROMOTION

DUMB BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = OVERTIME

A MAN WILL PAY $2.00 FOR A $1.00 ITEM HE NEEDS.

WOMAN WILL PAY $1.00 FOR A $2.00 ITEM THAT SHE DOES NOT NEED.

A WOMAN WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE UNTIL SHE GETS A HUSBAND.

A MAN NEVER WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE UNTIL HE GETS A WIFE.

A SUCCESSFUL MAN IS ONE WHO MAKES MORE MONEY THAN HIS WIFE CAN SPEND.

A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS ONE WHO CAN FIND SUCH A MAN.

TO BE HAPPY WITH A MAN, YOU MUST LOVE HIM A LITTLE AND UNDERSTAND HIM A
LOT.

TO BE HAPPY WITH A WOMAN YOU MUST LOVE HER A LOT AND NOT TRY TO
UNDERSTAND
HER AT ALL.

MEN WAKE UP AS GOOD-LOOKING AS THEY WENT TO BED.

WOMEN SOMEHOW DETERIORATE OVERNIGHT.

A WOMAN MARRIES A MAN EXPECTING HE WILL CHANGE, BUT HE DOESN'T.

A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN EXPECTING SHE WON'T CHANGE, BUT SHE DOES.

MARRIED MEN LIVE LONGER THAN SINGLE MEN,

BUT MARRIED MEN ARE MORE WILLING TO DIE.

ANY MARRIED MAN SHOULD FORGET HIS MISTAKES.

THERE'S NO USE IN TWO PEOPLE REMEMBERING THE SAME THING.

A WOMAN HAS THE LAST WORD IN ANY ARGUMENT.

ANYTHING A MAN SAYS AFTER THAT IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ARGUMENT.

****
For the most part very true

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of
furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't
hear
you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They are great at begging.
8. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9. They leave their toys everywhere.
10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you
a
kiss.

Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

-
Vangelis Damtsios
Micromuse PLC - Development
Tel. +44 (0)181 875 9500 (ext.511) |
Mob. +44 (0)7971 958119 |

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