JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Για το νέο έτος



(nil): Akis Karnouskos (akis(@)ceid.upatras.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 20 Μάι 1999 - 12:23:30 EEST

     Oi perissoteroi apo emas, otan mpainei neon etos,
orkizomaste oti, apo edw kai mpros, teleia kai paula:
Nea zwh 3hmerwnei gia mas. Terma oi anohsies, oi
epipolaiothtes, oi akolasies, oi aswties, kai ta lipara.
8a ginoume atoma upeu8una, sobara, eusebh, eulabh,
kalosunata elehmona kai filopatrida.

     Merikoi katastrwnoun kai lista. Katalogo eidiko.
Enan katalogo pou periexei auta pou DEN prepei na kanoume
(an den 8eloume na mas ta kanoune) kai pou DEN prepei na
trwme (an den 8eloume na mas ta trwne).

     O katalogos fusika einai diaforetikos gia ka8ena apo
emas. As e3etasoume merika deigmata sxetika kai antiproswpeutika.

                 KATALOGOS PRWTOS
                 ****************

(ENA AGORI 10 ETWN)

1.8a kremaw ta rouxa mou.
2.8a pernaw tous tuflous apenanti, akoma kai me to zori.
3.Otan akouw 8orubous sthn krebbatokamara tou mpampa kai
  ths mamas den 8a koitazw apo thn kleidarotrupa.
4.8a plenw ALH8HNA ta dontia mou, ka8e prwi kai den 8a
  anoigw mono th brush gia na akougetai to nero.
5.8a plenomai oloklhros kai kammia fora.
6.Den 8a kapnisw 3ana tsigaro xwris filtro, dioti 8a pa8w
  karkino kai 8a pe8anw. (Mono me filtro).
7.Den 8a 3ananoi3w ta periodika pou exei o mpampas sthn
  apo8hkh, katw apo to palio sleeping bag, pisw apo thn
  kasela pou einai strimwgmenh dipla stnh ntoulapa.
8.Den 8a 3anarwthsw poso xponwn einai h mama mprosta se
  kosmo.
9.Den 8a 3anapai3w ton giatro me thn Frosoula.
10.Den 8a 3anapai3w to giatro monos mou.

                   KATALOGOS DEYTEROS
                   ******************

(ENA KORITSI 13 ETWN)

1.Na kanw mono xalaoua, giati to 3urafi tis agrieuei.
2.Na agorasw dermatino panteloni.
3.Na xwrisw me ton Tzwnnh.
4.Na plenw monh mou ta soutien mou.
5.Na mhn trww ta nyxia kai na ta pernaw axrwmo kai bash.
6.Na arxisw na madaw ta frudia mou.
7.Na mhn zoulaw ta spuria mou.
8.Na bgalw ta siderakia.
9.Na rwthsw thn Mairh ti panapei " para fusin".

                   KATALOGOS TRITOS
                   ****************
(MIA ESWTERIKH FILIPPINEZA)

1.Steilw xrhma sto Filippino, ertei efta aderfes sto Ellada
  gkiati entw ekei pswmi gkia olo to oikogkeneia.
2.Zhthsw perissotero xrhma gkiati oikiako bohto Popi,
  Kurias Boubopoulou pernei ntuo fores xrhma ntiko mou kai
  nten kanei sintero.
3.An kuria nten ntwsei allo xrhma paw bar Blue-Fok gkinw
  konsomatris.
4.Pw Kurio oti ta pw ola Kuria, na matei auto.

                   KATALOGOS TETARTOS
                   ******************

(ENAS YDRAYLIKOS)

1.Na mhn xrewnw panw apo deka xiliades thn episkepsi dioti
  uparxei 8eos kai mas blepei.
2.Na xrhsimopoiw sthn douleia mou kalutera ulika.(Oxi
  POLLY kalutera, alla kalutera).
3.Arxes Martiou na paw sths Kurias Papadopoulou pou exei
  plhmmurisei to spiti ths apo ton Augousto.
4.Na poulhsw to retire ths Hrwdou tou Attikou kai na
  agorasw ena Neoklassiko sthn Kifhsia gia na er8ei kai h
  mana apo to xwrio.
5.Na proslabw mia grammatea gia ta rantebou mou.
6.Na mou kata8etoun to merokamato mou oi pelates
  kat'eu8eian ston logariasmo mou sthn Elbetia.
7.Na mhn dernw thn gunaika mou panw apo mia fora thn
  ebdomada.

                   KATALOGOS PEMPTOS
                   *****************

(ENAS NIOS APO TO XWRIO)

1.Na futepsou ilies, star kai kr8ar, fetous.
2.Na phgainou tsi Kyriakades, prwta tsi aderfades mou sthn
  Ikklisia kai meta sthn tsonta.
3.Na skoutwsou to 8eiou Polybiou gia kthmatikes diafoures.
4.Na skoutwsou to Mhtsous gia logoi timhs.
5.Na afhkou hsuxh thn Katsika.

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