JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Το προξενιό !



(nil): Akis Karnouskos (akis(@)ceid.upatras.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 20 Μάι 1999 - 13:53:14 EEST

Xtupaei to koudouni kai mpainoun kata seira emfanhsews:

- Ena mpouketo roz gladioles me mpolika ftera gia na ftourhsei.

- Ena kouti sokolatakia me gemhsh ''apo ta kala'' ampalarismena me
  kordelakia kai frou-frou polu entupwsiaka. ( Einai gia to spiti h gia dwraki )

- H pro3enhtra. Gelasth gelasth me to emprimedaki ths me mpoliko kokkino
  kragion na exei ntelaparei lido ston aristero kunodonta kai to ufos pou eixe o
  kurios Karamanlhs molis upegraye thn enta3h mas sthn EOK

- O mpampas. Sobaros me peripoihmeno mustaka metriwn diastasewn me malli
  metrhotaths puknothtas kai me grabbata kokkinh me kitrina poua gia
  na spasei to mounto tou pragmatos.

- H mama. Malli fouska apo to kommwthrio enan orofo konthtero apo ton
  Purgo twn A8hnwn dioti einai 1.44 kai 8elei thn mizampli aerath gia na ths
  xarizei uyos. Gelasth - taxa mou - ! einai etoimh na mishsei me abbusaleo
  pa8os kai fanatismo Genitsarou '' authn '' pou 8elei na ths faei
 to paidi mesa apo thn aggalia.

- To ''paidi''. Me to keno ekeino mati olwn twn agoriwn pou perigrafoun
  stis parees tous '' thn epiasa kai ths edwsa na katalabei kai meta shkw8hka
  ntu8hka kai ths eipa kai eis alla me ugeian '' alla pou exei dei misogumno
  gunaikeio swma mono sthn plaz ths Boulas kai nomizei oti to gunaikeio sth8os
  exei panta maura tsirota panw tou (apo kataskeuh) opws stis fwtografies e3w apo
  sinema pou paizoun '' Sex me ma8htries'' ''Gumnh katw apo thn gouna '' kai tetoia
  epimorfwtika.

Oi pe8eres misountai apo thn prwth stigmh. Einai ena misos pou gennietai
keraunobola kai exei diarkeia megaluterh kai apo ton pio sta8ero erwta. Den
teleiwnei para mono ston tafo. Suxna oute kai ekei. ( '' Kalh h makarhtissa de lew alla
duskolos an8rwpos. a pa pa pa . Ekeinh thn korh mou zwntanei thn eyhse
oso zouse 8eos sxwresthn!!'' ).

Anti8eta oi pe8eroi einai pio oudeteroi sunh8ws. Ais8anontai isws mia
amidrotath antipa8eia alla tipota sobaro h tipota pou na mhn dior8wnetai
h estw tipota pou na einai aparaithto na dior8w8ei.

Mpainei olo to konbou kai zalwnetai h oikodespoina gladioles kai
sokolatakia.
''Ma den htan anaggh!''. Htan kai parahtan anaggh me to pou mphkane oi
an8rwpoi sta xeria tous koitaze.
''Kai ti wraia louloudia! Pipitsa balta se ena bazo''. Ka8olou wraia den
ta briskei ta louloudia. Einai kai ligo maramena 8a prepei na ta plakwsei stis
asphrines kai pali den blepei prokoph ase pou den einai kai apo kentriko an8opwleio,
na apo kati tetoies mikroleptomeries deixnei o an8rwpos ekeinh na paei etsi prwth
fora se 3eno spiti ''kai gia tetoio zhthma malista'' kai na mhn to prose3ei to
louloudi pote den 8a to ekane as einai omws as mhn tous kakoxarakthrisei apo thn prwth
stigmh an kai h prwth stigmh einai to hmisu tou pantos.

Kai xamogelaei. Kai xamogelane oloi . Xamogelane meta3u tous. Xamogelane
genikws.
Xamogelaei kai h mama-Ellas pou exei dei thn idia skhnh apeires fores
kai kagxazei giati h ka8e oikogeneia th 8ewrei monadikh kai anepanalhpth.

Kai tote gia na spasei o prwtos pagos peftei h erwthsh-keraunos:
''To brhkate eukola to spiti?''
Opote arxizoun oloi mazi na e3hgoun poso - h kata poso - to brhkane
eukola to spiti:
''Emeis den thn 3eroume ka8olou edw thn perioxh...''. Pou metafrazetai :
H dikh mas perioxh einai polu pio sik.

''Kai molis ftasame se authn thn plateia Strathgou Tatsimitsikopoulou -
pws ton lene?...'' Pou metafrazetai: Oute enan strathgo ths prokophs den sas
balane. ''Nomizame oti eimaste konta etsi opws mas ta eipate...''. Pou
metafrazetai: All'ant'allwn mas ta eipate wraio mualo koulantrizetai.
''Telika rwthsame apo edw rwthsame apo ekei...'' Pou metafrazetai:
 Katatalaipwrh8hkame apo ton 8eo na tobrete.
''Kai to brhkame''. Pou metafrazetai : Pou na mhn to briskame.

Osh wra suzhtiountai ta krisima auta 8emata ta ''paidia'' koitountai me
mia adiorath ahdia. Autos perimene - h elpize- na sunanthsei thn Nastazia Kinski ante
sto pio melaxroino kai briskei mia xontrh sta kitrina idia to trolleu Pathsia -
Ampelokhpoi.
Auth merimene - h elpize - na sunanthsei ton Tzwn Travolta ante sto pio
konto kai brisketai mprosta se toso mpimpiki kai kokkino stigma san ton xarth ths
Elladas me tis seismogeneis perioxes.
Omws kai oi duo exoun ma8ei oti ''o erwtas erxetai meta to gamo shmasia
exei na einai kalos o an8rwpos '' kai etsi swpainoun kai e3akolou8oun na
elpizoun monoi kai tromagmenoi probata tou Pasxa me to trello oneiro pws isws kapote akoma
kai me authn akoma kai me auton 8a zhsoun to roz ntekor me tis kamelies kai
ta feggarwfwrta.

En tw meta3u to pragma exei parei thn rota tou. Yparxei mia asfalhs
8ematologia. Kai e3antlhtai. Panta. Kai olh:
- O kairos
_ To Wnasseio kai h ugeia tou Andrea. Edw h amudrh antipa8eia twn
pe8erwn mporei na e3elixuei se misos. Dioti o enas leei ''Andreas'' kai
kollaei to stoma tou kai o allos ''Antreas"" kai einai san na leei ''Koula''
to onoma ths gunaikas tou pou
  thn exei sixa8ei tessereis meres meta ton gamo alla thn ufistatai 27
xronia meta.
- Ta programmata ths thleorashs. Ta opoia den lene tipota. na emeis
spaniws na doume ( apla thn anoigoume stis stis epta top prwi kai thn kleinoume
oti wra pame gia ypno) mono ama exei kati kalo, kale akousate ton Pavarottiti
ti fwnh e ti fwnh? ( Molis akouse h kuria Koula ton Pavarotti eipe apagohteumenh
a auton exei, eukairia na paw na ka8arisw ta kremmudia ) kai gia thn Lamyh pou thn
parakolou8w apo tote pou arxise opou ta 8hluka peftoun me pa8os sthn suzhthsh ''
ti egine parakatw giati egw to exasa'' emeina ekei pou Katerina mpainei sto
nosokomeio me karkino kai polu stenaxwre8hka...

Kai suzhtane kai suzhtane kai suzhtane kai den 8igontai xondrades tou
tupou proika kai ta toiauta alla prohgoumenws exoun anoi3ei ekaterw8en apo ena fakelo
h mia oikogeneia sthn allh - mexri ka8e pote allazei swbrako o gambros- kai
kapote ;
'' ante na phgainoume kai emeis '' ''apo twra? Ka8hste ligo akoma'' leei
h mama ths korhs alla exei ftasei bolida kai exei anoi3ei thn e3wporta kai leei
o nearos sthn neara ''xairete'' kai leei h neara sto nearo ''xairete'' kai gelane
oloi sto stul ''ta paidia a ta paidia'' kai feugoun

*** Ysterograsfo ***
To parapanw kommati einai parmeno
apo to biblio ths ''Elenas Akrita'' ''Pantebou me thn Elena''

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