(nil): thrasnet (thrasos(@)bigfoot.com)
Ημερομηνία: Κυρ 13 Ιουν 1999 - 01:30:19 EEST
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Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Bill Gates
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went
to meet their maker. The supreme diety turned to Al and asked, tell what
is important about yourself. Al responded that he felt that the earth
was
the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological
system
was most important. God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you
think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked Bill Clinton what
he
revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their
personal choices were most important. God responded, " I like the way
you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to Bill
Gates,
who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem
Bill Gates?" Bill Gates responded " I think you are sitting in my
chair".
New Computer Virus'
Woody Allen Virus - Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter
card.
Tonya Harding Virus - Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons.
Paul Revere Virus - Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN,
2 if by C:\.
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus - Instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1
Meg.
Ollie North Virus - Plays a patriotic WAV file while it shreds your
files.
Joey Buttafuaco Virus - Only attacks minor files.
Lorena Bobbit Virus - Your hard disc turns into a 3.5 floppy.
Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
Jane Fonda Virus - Attacks your hard drive's FAT.
Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to
80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
AT&T Virus - Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
getting.
MCI Virus - Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much for the AT&T Virus.
Politically Correct Virus - Never calls itself a "virus," instead refers
to
itself as an "electronic micro organism."
Ross Perot Virus - Activates every component in your system, just
before the whole darn thing quits.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
Government Economist Virus - Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to
be the most important part of your computer.
Adam and Eve Virus - Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple
computer.
Congressional Virus #1 - The computer locks up, screen splits
erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side
for the problem.
Congressional Virus #2 - Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Airline Virus - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus - Your computer becomes obsessed with its own
motherboard. Or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard
drive.
PBS Virus - Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus - Your programs can never be found again
LAPD Virus - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and erases them in "self - defense."
______________________________________________________________________
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