JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Answering machines...



(nil): Konstantinos Karasardelis (KOTiS(@)egnatia.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 02 Δεκ 1999 - 18:21:03 EET

Μερικά έξυπνα μηνύματα από... κουτούς τηλεφωνητές!!!

~~~~~
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your
name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
~~~~~
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not
here. So leave a message.
~~~~~
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If
you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe
me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
~~~~~
(From a Japanese man in Toronto:) He-ro! This is Sato. If you leave message,
I call you soon. If you leave sexy message, I call sooner!
~~~~~
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets.
~~~~~
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her
tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything
cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
~~~~~
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their
picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they
will get back to you.
~~~~~
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a
number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
~~~~~
Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
~~~~~
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to
leave your name, number, and a message.
~~~~~
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
~~~~~
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and
down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message,
and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.

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