JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Material: Woman



(nil): Konstantinos Karasardelis (KOTiS(@)egnatia.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 02 Φεβ 2000 - 17:12:45 EET

************ TECHNICAL ARTICLE ***********

****** HAZARDOUS MATERIAL INFORMATION BULLETIN *********
*********** MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET *****************
*********** WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS *****************

ELEMENT: WOMAN

SYMBOL: WO

DISCOVERER: ADAM

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 53.6 kg but known to vary from 40 to
200+ kg

OCCURENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in varying states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields if pressure applied to correct points

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquid, but activity greatly increases by saturation in
alchohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in red sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:

1. Pure speciment turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at
different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact
with each other

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