JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Fw: ...support !!



(nil): POP (tvav(@)x-treme.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 25 Φεβ 2000 - 11:37:53 EET

> Dear Tech Support:
>
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon
> noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took
> up
> a lot of space and Valuable resources. No mention of this was included
> with
> the product information.
>
> In addition Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and
> now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
> system activity.
> Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5,
> Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run,
> crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
> the
> background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking
> about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on
> Wife 1.0
>
> Please Help!!!!!!
>
> Thanks,
> A Troubled User.
>
> REPLY:
> Dear Troubled User:
> This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due
> to a primary misconception among men. Many people upgrade from
> Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely an Utilities and
> Entertainment program.
>
> Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to
> run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to
> Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0
> to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
>
> It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files
> from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0
> because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried to
> Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the
> original system.
> Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under, "Warnings- Alimony/Child Support".
> I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
> I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear to alleviate
> software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest
> that you read the entire section regarding, "General Partnership
> Faults (GPF's)". You must assume all responsibility for any faults and
> problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that
> GPF's are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command
> C:\APOLOGIZE.
>
> Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will
> have to Give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to
> normal anyway.
> Remember the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame
> for All GPF's .
>
> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to be very high maintenance.
> Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs such as Clean and
> Sweep 3.0, Cook-it 1.5 (which replaces Burn-It 1.0) and , Do-Bills 4.2 .
> You
> must however be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
> will cause the system to launch the program NagYourAss 9.5 . Once this
> happens the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase
> additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this
> happen.
>
> !!!!!WARNING!!!!!
>
> DO NOT under any circumstances, install
>
> (Secretary-With-Short-Skirt. This application is not supported by
> Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
>
> Best of luck,
> Tech Support

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