JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something.



(nil): ilias (i(@)daraklitsas.freeserve.co.uk)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 12 Μάι 2000 - 09:28:58 EEST

ΞΕΡΕΤΕ ΠΩΣ λεγεται το αρνακι που εχασε την μανα του
ΜΑΝΑΡΑΚΙ -'Η ΜΑΝΑΡΙ .<---- ΑΥΤΟ ΓΙΑ ΤΟΝ ΦΙΛΟ GEORGE MAKRIS

The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something.

You want = You want

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to
like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to
me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes
to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're
stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at
a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the
bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

The Woman's Guide to What a Man is Really Saying...

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of
this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are
you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you." = Let's have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much
different! "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with
other guys.

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and
let's go home!

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