JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: [ UNIX ]



(nil): ABRAMOPOULOS I . . .> (bxxel(@)avfc.com)
Ημερομηνία: Σαβ 01 Ιούλ 2000 - 18:08:15 EEST

[ABC's of UNIX, ALFABHTA]

A is for Awk, which runs like a snail, and
B is for Biff, which reads all your mail.

C is for CC, as hackers recall, while
D is for DD, the command that does all.

E is for Emacs, which rebinds your keys, and
F is for Fsck, which rebuilds your trees.

G is for Grep, a clever detective, while
H is for Halt, which may seem defective.

I is for Indent, which rarely amuses, and
J is for Join, which nobody uses.

K is for Kill, which makes you the boss, while
L is for Lex, which is missing from DOS.

M is for More, from which Less was begot, and
N is for Nice, which it really is not.
[ALFA BHTA TOY UNIX, ABC OF UNIX]
O is for Od, which prints out things nice, while
P is for Passwd, which reads in strings twice.

Q is for Quota, a Berkeley-type fable, and
R is for Ranlib, for sorting ar [sic] table.

S is for Spell, which attempts to belittle, while
T is for True, which does very little.

U is for Uniq, which is used after Sort, and
V is for Vi, which is hard to abort.

W is for Whoami, which tells you your name, while
X is, well, X, of dubious fame.

Y is for Yes, which makes an impression, and
Z is for Zcat, which handles compression.

=====================

[MORE FUN WITH UNIX]

If you type these in from the csh (c shell): in Unix you really do
get these responses.

% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% got a light?
No match.

% sleep with me
bad character

% man: Why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% make 'heads or tails of all this'
Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

% make sense
Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.

% make mistake
Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.

% make bottle.open
Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% make light
Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.

% date me
You are not superuser: date not set
Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988

% man rear
No manual entry for rear.

% If I had a ) for every dollar Clinton spent, what would I have?
Too many )'s.

% * How would you describe Clinton
*: Ambiguous.

% %Vice-President
%Vice-President: No such job.

% ls Meese-Ethics
Meese-Ethics not found

% "How would you rate Clinton's senility?
Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ]. |

% ^How did the^sex change operation go?
Modifier failed.

% who is my match?
No match.

% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
Democratic_Platform unreadable

% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
awk: syntax error near line 1
awk: bailing out near line

% 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.
===================================================

--
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