JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: label instructions



(nil): Evangelos Siozos (vagsioz(@)attglobal.net)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 07 Σεπ 2000 - 21:35:44 EEST

Na kai to prwto avekdot apo meva. Av kai eimai peri tous 8 mnves stn lista,
dev eixa uliko. E, elpizw va eiva kalo auto pou stelvw.
 
> >> In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
> >> stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
> >>
> >> On Sears hairdryer:
> >> Do not use while sleeping.
> >> (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
> >>
> >> On a bag of Fritos:
> >> You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
> >> (The shoplifter special!)
> >>
> >> On a bar of Dial soap:
> >> Directions: Use like regular soap.
> >> (and that would be how?)
> >>
> >> On some Swann frozen dinners:
> >> Serving suggestion: Defrost.
> >> (But it's *just* a suggestion!)
> >>
> >> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
> >> (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
> >> (Too late! You lose!)
> >>
> >> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> >> Product will be hot after heating.
> >> (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
> >>
> >> On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> >> Do not iron clothes on body.
> >> (But wouldn't that save more time?)
> >>
> >> On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
> >> Do not drive car or operate machinery.
> >> (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
> just
> >> kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)
> >>
> >> On Nytol sleep aid:
> >> Warning: may cause drowsiness.
> >> (One would hope!)
> >>
> >> On a Korean kitchen knife:
> >> Warning keep out of children.
> >> (Or pets! What's for dinner?)
> >>
> >> On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
> >> For indoor or outdoor use only.
> >> (As opposed to use in outer space?)
> >>
> >> On a Japanese food processor:
> >> Not to be used for the other use.
> >> (Now I'm curious.)
> >>
> >> On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> >> Warning: contains nuts.
> >> (Really???)
> >>
> >> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> >> Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
> >> (I'm glad they cleared that up...)
> >>
> >> On a Swedish chainsaw:
> >> Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
> >> (What is this, a home castration kit?)
> >>
> >> On a child's superman costume:
> >> Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
> >> (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

Baggelns Siwzos

--
Η Έβελυν (το ρομπότ της λίστας) γράφει :
Το διαφημιστικό είναι το πιο ειλικρινές μέρος μιας εφημερίδας.
			Thomas Jefferson
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