JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: FW: Court Room ...



(nil): Diakoyanni Emmanuela (e.diacoyanni(@)bull.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 21 Σεπ 2000 - 14:01:47 EEST

> COURT REPORTING
> These are things people actually said in court, word for word,
> taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of
> staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: What is your date of birth?
> A: July fifteenth.
> Q: What year?
> A: Every year.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> A: I forget.
> Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that
> you've forgotten?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> Q: How long has he lived with you?
> A: Forty-five years.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
> woke that morning?
> A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> Q: And why did that upset you?
> A: My name is Susan.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: And where was the location of the accident?
> A: Approximately milepost 499.
> Q: And where is milepost 499?
> A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
> A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
> A: After the accident?
> Q: Before the accident.
> A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo
> or the occult?
> A: We both do.
> Q: Voodoo?
> A: We do.
> Q: You do?
> A: Yes, voodoo.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and
> blue lights flashing?
> A: Yes.
> Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
> A: Yes, sir.
> Q: What did she say?
> A: What disco am I at?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
> sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: She had three children, right?
> A: Yes.
> Q: How many were boys?
> A: None.
> Q: Were there any girls?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> A: By death.
> Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Can you describe the individual?
> A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> Q: Was this a male, or a female?
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
> notice which I sent to your attorney?
> A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> A: Oral.
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
> autopsy.
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> A: No.
> Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> A: No.
> Q: Did you check for breathing?
> A: No.
> Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
> the autopsy?
> A: No.
> Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
> A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
> somewhere.
>

--
Η Έβελυν (το ρομπότ της λίστας) γράφει :
Όποιος πιστεύει ότι η ζωή είναι άσχημη, βλέπει πολλές ειδήσεις.
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