JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Lessons in business



(nil): Haralampos Skoufis (harskouf(@)telecom.ntua.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 08 Φεβ 2001 - 18:20:13 EET

Four lessons in business
>
> > > Lesson Number One
>
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and do nothing all
day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So,
the rabbit sat on the
ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.
What have you learnt?:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.

> > > Lesson Number Two
>
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the
 bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey
pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the first
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight,
there he was proudly
perched at the top of The tree. Soon he was promptly
spotted by a
farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
What have you learnt?:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there.

> > > Lesson Number Three
 When the body was first made, all the parts wanted
to be Boss. The
Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the
whole body's
responses and functions." The feet said, "We should
be Boss as we carry the
brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The
hands said, "We
should be the Boss because we do all the work and
earn all the money." And
so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and
the eyes until
finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed
at the idea of the
asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on
strike, blocked itself up and
refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became
crossed, the
hands clenched, the Feet twitched, the heart and
lungs began to panic
and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided
that the asshole should
be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other
parts did all the
work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

What have you learnt?:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will
do.

> > > Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold, the bird
Froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While
it was lying there,
a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the
frozen bird lay there
in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise how warm
it was. The dung
was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and happy and soon
began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to
investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the
pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate
him!
What have you learnt?:
- Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
- Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
- And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
__________________
Haris

--
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