JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: IT Love making



(nil): Καρασαρδέλης Κώστας (kotis(@)netfiles.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 11 Ιούλ 2001 - 00:20:17 EEST

Love Making in IT

The world in general likes to believe that the insular computer boffin does
not know the meaning of love-making. Of course this is not true. Most IT
specialists have healthy and rewarding sex lives - often with other humans -
which keep them bright and smiling as they tap away at the keyboard and
chuckle at the fading Dilbert cartoon stuck to their monitor. And the true
professional always behaves faithfully to his chosen development
environment - even in the bedroom....

Pascal
You make love to your girlfriend.

BASIC
You waggle your penis ineffectually at your girlfriend.

Visual BASIC
You get a tattoo on your penis, then waggle it ineffectually at your
girlfriend.

C++
Both your girlfriend and her cousin use the same method of love-making with
you. Unfortunately, they both inherited it from their father,and you
painfully waddle home sporting an anus like the Japanese flag.

COBOL
IF SLAPPED_FACE
NEXT SENTENCE
ELSE
PERFORM A_FONDLE_BREASTS
THRU
B_APOLOGISE_FOR_MESS
VARYING W_GRIMACE
UNTIL W_TESTICLES_EMPTY = TRUE.

SQL
You make love to your girlfriend, but it takes hours, and everyone in the
street has to wait until you've finished before they can make love to their
partners. When you've finished, you tell your girlfriend that you're not
committed to her, and she pretends you never made love in the first place.

Assembly Language
You spend weeks with a propelling pencil and some graph paper planning
exactly how you're going to make love to your girlfriend, but when the
moment comes you end up enthusiastically making love to the cat. Afterwards
you pretend that you wanted to do that anyway.

UNIX
You want to make love to your girlfriend the really clever way you did it
yesterday, but you've forgotten it.

NT
Someone else regularly makes ActiveLove? to your girlfriend without asking
you, and you can never catch the ****er at it and don't know how to make
them stop.

Microsoft Word '97
You proudly unveil your erection in the bedroom. Your girlfriend winks at
you and says "It looks like you're going to have a wee. Would you like some
help with weeing?".

C
Every time you make love to your partner, your penis points in a different
direction. You don't notice until eventually it points straight up your own
****.

Java
You learn a technique which is supposed to bring any girl to orgasm, but it
only works with your mother

--
Η Έβελυν (το ρομπότ της λίστας) γράφει :
Όλη η τέχνη δεν είναι παρά η μίμηση της φύσης.
			Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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