JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Οικονομίες (+Murphy)



(nil): Anastasios Papadopoulos (mm97065(@)mail.ntua.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 09 Νοέ 2001 - 12:46:44 EET

Χαιρετώ...

        Ο γαμπρός, ετών 70+, και η νύφη, ετών 25, μπαίνουν στο ξενοδοχείο για να
περάσουν τον μήνα του μέλιτος...Δεδομένης της διαφοράς στην ηλικία, όλοι στο
προσωπικό του ξενοδοχείου σκέφτηκαν το προφανές (...ναι, αυτό που σκεφτήκατε
και εσείς...όχι ο έρωτας, το άλλο...) Λοιπόν φαντάζεστε την έκπληξη όλων το
άλλο πρωί :
        Ο γαμπρός κατεβαίνει κατά τις 8 το πρωί, με ένα τεράστιο χαμόγελο στο
πρόσωπό του, γεμάτος αυτοπεποίθηση και φοβερά ευδιάθετος. Καταβροχθίζει
μερικές φέτες ψωμί με βούτυρο και μαρμελάδα, αυγά, μπέικον κλπ κλπ και όταν
τελειώνει κατευθύνεται στο σαλόνι του ξενοδοχείου για το πρωινό του πούρο...
        Η νύφη κατεβαίνει κατά τις 9...Όταν λέμε κατεβαίνει, σέρνεται η κοπέλα,
παραπατάει, παραμιλάει...Τέλος πάντων, φτάνει στην σερβιτόρα : "Ένα
καφέ...", ψελλίζει,"...σκέτο και δυνατό...".Πηγαίνει όπως-όπως σε ένα
τραπέζι και σωριάζεται...
        Η σερβιτόρα, έκπληκτη, πηγαίνει τον καφέ στην νύφη. Φεύγοντας όμως δεν
κρατιέται ...
-"Με συγχωρείς, κοπέλα μου...Δεν μπορώ να το χωνέψω όμως: Πώς εσύ, νέα
κοπέλα, είσαι σε τέτοιο χάλι μετά την πρώτη νύχτα του γάμου με έναν γέρο που
ξέχασε να πεθάνει;"
-"Ο αλήτης! Ο απατεώνας! Με ξεγέλασε...Τόσο καιρό μου έλεγε ότι κάνει
οικονομίες εδώ και 50 χρόνια...Εγώ νόμιζα ότι εννοούσε χρήματα..."

~~~
Αγαπητή "λήδα" : Τώρα το "the new is nice...... but the old is otherwise"
ήταν αστείο; Μμμμ...slow the very oil... ;-)
~~~

Ακολουθούν δωράκια για την Έβελυν (αν τα μεταφράσει...)

Murphy's Laws And Other Observations Murphy's Laws And Other Observations

Murphy's Laws
  If Anything Can Go Wrong, It Will.
  If There Is A Possibility Of Several Things Going Wrong, The One That Will
  Cause The Most Damage Will Be The First One To Go Wrong.
  If Anything Just Cannot Go Wrong, It Will Anyway.
  If You Perceive That There Are Four Possible Ways In Which Something Can
Go
  Wrong, And Circumvent These, Then A Fifth Way, Unprepared For, Will
Promptly
  Develop.
  Left To Themselves, Things Tend To Go From Bad To Worse.
  If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously Overlooked
Something.

  Nature Always Sides With The Hidden Flaw.
  Mother Nature Is A Bitch.

O'toole's Commentary On Murphy's Laws
  Murphy Was An Optimist.

Ginsberg's Theorems
  You Can't Win.
  You Can't Break Even.
  You Can't Even Quit The Game.

Forsyth's Second Corollary To Murphy's Laws
  Just When You See The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, The Roof Caves In.

Weiler's Law
  Nothing Is Impossible For The Man Who Doesn't Have To Do It Himself.

The Laws Of Computer Programming
  Any Given Program, When Running, Is Obsolete.
  Any Given Program Costs More And Takes Longer Each Time It Is Run.
  If A Program Is Useful, It Will Have To Be Changed.
  If A Program Is Useless, It Will Have To Be Documented.
  Any Given Program Will Expand To Fill All The Available Memory.
  The Value Of A Program Is Inversely Proportional To The Weight Of Its
Output.
  Program Complexity Grows Until It Exceeds The Capability Of The Programmer
Who
  Must Maintain It.

Pierce's Law
  In Any Computer System, The Machine Will Always Misinterpret, Mi-
Construe,
  Misprint, Or Not Evaluate Any Math Or Subroutines Or Fail To Print Any
Output
  On At Least The First Run Through.

Corollary To Pierce's Law
  When A Compiler Accepts A Program Without Error On The First Run, The
Program
  Will Not Yield The Desired Output.

Addition To Murphy's Laws
  In Nature, Nothing Is Ever Right. Therefore, If Everything Is Going
Right...
  Something Is Wrong.

Brook's Law
  If At First You Don't Succeed, Transform Your Data Set!

Grosch's Law
  Computing Power Increases As The Square Of The Cost.

Golub's Laws Of Computerdom
  Fuzzy Project Objectives Are Used To Avoid Embarrassment Of Estimating The
  Corresponding Costs.
  A Carelessly Planned Project Takes Three Longer To Complete Than Expected;
A
  Carefully Planned Project Takes Only Twice As Long.
  The Effort Required To Correct Course Increases Geometrically With Time.
  Project Teams Detest Weekly Progress Reporting Because It So Vividly
Manifests
  Their Lack Of Progress.

Osborn's Law
  Variables Won't; Constants Aren't.

Gilb's Laws Of Unreliability
  Computers Are Unreliable, But Humans Are Even More Unreliable.
  Any System That Depends Upon Human Reliability Is Unreliable.
  Undetectable Errors Are Infinite In Variety, In Contrast To Detect- Able
  Errors, Which By Definition Are Limited.
  Investment In Reliability Will Increase Until It Exceeds The Prob- Able
Cost
  Of Errors, Or Until Someone Insists On Getting Some Useful Work Done.

Lubarsky's Law Of Cybernetic Entomology
  There's Always One More Bug.

Troutman's Postulates
  Profanity Is The One Language Understood By All Programmers.
  Not Until A Program Has Been In Production For Six Months Will Will The
Most
  Harmful Error Be Discovered.
  Job Control Cards That Positively Cannot Be Arranged In Improper Order
Will
  Be.
  Interchangeable Tapes Won't.
  If The Input Editor Has Been Designed To Reject All Bad Input, An
Ingenious
  Idiot Will Discover A Method To Get Bad Data Past It.
  If A Test Installation Functions Perfectly, All Subsequent Systems Will
  Malfunction.

Weinberg's Second Law
  If Builders Built Buildings The Way Programmers Wrote Programs, Then The
First
  Woodpecker That Came Along Would Destroy Civilization.

Gumperson's Law
  The Probability Of Anything Happening Is In Inverse Ratio To Its
Desirability.

Gummidge's Law
  The Amount Of Expertise Varies In Inverse Ratio To The Number Of
Statements
  Understood By The General Public.

Zymurgy's First Law Of Evolving System Dynamics
  Once You Open A Can Of Worms, The Only Way To Recan Them Is To Use A
Larger
  Can (old Worms Never Die, They Just Worm Their Way Into Larger Cans).

Harvard's Law, As Applied To Computers
  Under The Most Rigorously Controlled Conditions Of Pressure, Temperature,
  Volume, Humidity And Other Variables, The Computer Will Do As It Damn Well
  Pleases.

Sattinger's Law
  It Works Better If You Plug It In.

Jenkinson's Law
  It Won't Work.

Horner's Five Thumb Postulate
  Experience Varies Directly With Equipment Ruined.

Cheop's Law
  Nothing Ever Gets Build On Schedule Or Within Budget.

Rule Of Accuracy
  When Working Toward The Solution Of A Problem, It Always Helps If You Know
The
  Answer.

Zymurg's Seventh Exception To Murphy's Law
  When It Rains, It Pours

Pudder's Laws
  Anything That Begins Well Ends Badly
  Anything That Begins Badly Ends Worse.

Westheimer's Rule
  To Estimate The Time It Takes To Do A Task: Estimate The Time You Think It
  Should Take, Multiply By Two And Change The Unit Of Measure To The Next
  Highest Unit. Thus, We Allocate Two Days For A One Hour Task.

Stockmayer's Theorem
  If It Looks Easy, It's Tough. If It Looks Tough, It's Damn Near Impos-
Sible.

Atwoods Corollary
  No Books Are Lost By Lending Except Those You Particularly Wanted To Keep.

Johhnson's Third Law
  If You Miss One Issue Of Any Magazine, It Will Be The Issue That Con-
Tains
  The Article, Story Or Installment You Were Most Anxious To Read.

Corollary To Johnson's Third Law
  All Of Your Friends Either Missed It, Lost It Or Threw It Out.

Harper's Magazine Law
  You Never Find The Article Until You Replace It.

Brooke's Law
  Adding Manpower To A Late Software Makes It Later.

Finagle's Fourth Law
  Once A Job Is Fouled Up, Anything Done To Improve It Will Only Make It
Worse.

Featherkile's Rule
  Whatever You Did, That's What You Planned.

Flap's Law
  Any Inanimate Object, Regardless Of Its Position, Configuration Or
Purpose,
  May Be Expected To Perform At Any Time In A Totally Un- Expected Manner
For
  Reasons That Are Either Entirely Obscure Or Else Completely Mysterious.

- - - - -
Anastasios Gr. Papadopoulos | Αναστάσιος Γρ. Παπαδόπουλος
>Cascader<
http://users.ntua.gr/mm97065/mypage
- - - - -
During FreeBSD installation ...
"Warning: No keyboard detected!
Press F1 to continue..."

--
Η Έβελυν (το ρομπότ της λίστας) γράφει :
Κάθε πόνος είναι πόνος, μα του ψωμιού αβάσταχτος.
			ιταλική παροιμία
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