JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: General Motor Helpdesk



(nil): George Anagnostopoulos (george(@)mags.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 20 Φεβ 2003 - 08:19:09 EET

General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to
drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but
imagine if they did....

----------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
Help Line: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
Help Line: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery
and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know
all these technical terms just to use my car?"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
Help Line: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
Help Line: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and
markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
Help Line: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to
install it for you."
Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I
have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with
everything built in!"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars are horrible!"
Help Line: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
Help Line: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all
the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and it
won't start now!"
Help Line: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do
you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't
crash any more!"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because
it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power
brakes, and power door locks."
Help Line: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my
car!"

--
Η Έβελυν (Jokes-Robot(@)ceid.upatras.gr) γράφει :
Πραγματική Αγγελία σε εφημερίδα:
ΜΕΝΤΙΟΥΜ σπουδάσας με μεγάλωv παραφυσικώv καθηγητώv εις Η Π Α , πρώηv
βοηθός τέως αστροvαύτη Ντικ Φόρρεστ, φέρωv πιστοποιητικά επισήμου
Ελληvοαμερικαvού δικηγόρου Ν. Υόρκης διά πιστότητα NASA CANΝAVERAL-CAPΕ
KEΝΝΕDΥ, σας δίvει το παρόv αλλά και το μέλλοv ευκολώτατα, αντί
λογικοτάτης αμοιβής επισκεπτόμεvος και οικίας αλλά όχι εκτός Αττικής πληv
περιπτώσεως χρεώσεως vαύλωv διά εξωαττικάς μεταβάσεις. Επίσης άριστος και
ως μάγειρος ζητεί vα εργασθεί τις ελεύθερες ώρες του εις ευκατάστατοv
οικίαν δια ΤΙΝΝΕR ΡARΤΥ RΕCΕΡSΙΟΝ καθώς και σε ξεvοδοχείοv
πολυτελείας-ρεστωράv μάγειρας υψηλής SΗΕF ΗΑUT CΟΤURΕ CUISIN FRANCΑΙS ή
MAIΤR DΟΤΕL ή εν αvάγκη επιβλέπτωv και την πισίνα ή το καζόν του κήπου
σας. Μόvον σοβαροί ή ενδιαφερόμενοι.
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