JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Το τέλειο γράμμα παραίτησης.... (σόρρυ, δεν μεταφραζεται!-)



(nil): Eugene Alexander (alexander(@)eexi.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 14 Μάι 2003 - 00:18:56 EEST

Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have
an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.

After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my coworkers
during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one
of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network
administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each
time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time,
but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to
provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth
time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to
you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you
what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk
around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others.
You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for
your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn
it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your
glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as
this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal
lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have
a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to
give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I
prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the
next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be
unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to
get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the
administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take
pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never
seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those
have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a
glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I
hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never
f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do
with all your free time.

Sincerely,

 Darryl Brewer

--
Η Έβελυν (Jokes-Robot(@)ceid.upatras.gr) γράφει :
        Η κυρία Jones διηγήθηκε ένα συμβάν από "αρκετά παλιά" όταν η IBM
Canada Ltd. of Markham, Ont., παρήγγειλε μερικά εξαρτήματα από ένα νέο
Ιάπωνα προμηθευτή. Η εταιρεία σημείωσε στην παραγγελία της ότι θα γίνουν
αποδεκτά 1,5% ελαττωματικά εξαρτήματα (μια σχετικά υψηλή προδιαγραφή για
την Βόρεια Αμερική τότε).
        Οι Ιάπωνες έστειλαν την παραγγελία, με μερικά εξαρτήματα ξέχωρα σε
πλαστικά πακέτα. Το συνοδεύον γράμμα έλεγε: "Δεν γνωρίζουμε για ποιο λόγο
θέλετε 1.5% ελαττωματικά εξαρτήματα, αλλά για να σας διευκολύνουμε, τα
πακετάραμε ξεχωριστά."
		Τμήμα άρθρου από The (Toronto) Globe and Mail
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