JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Re: Istories toy mpastardoy xarntgoyera ypallhloy



(nil): mezger (mezger(@)freemail.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τρι 02 Δεκ 2003 - 13:42:12 EET

Kalh h metafrasi de lew, alla kalo einai na anafereis kai tis phges sou:

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard_1996-2.html
"Trains, planes and the dreaded laptop spotter - the BOFH brings the
anoraks back to earth. ... "

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
Gia na ta deite ola :)

On Tue, 02 Dec 2003 10:48:53 +0200, Nikos Tsekhs <ntsek(@)freemail.gr> wrote:

>
>
>
> H istoria poy 8a diabasete exei alh8ino ypoba8ro, me terasties yperboles
> kai aisxra cemata (dhl. mono to tajidi kai to palikari dipla moy -poy
> htan mia xara atomara-einai alh8ina). Epishs den endeiknytai gia
> an8rwpoys poy sixainontai toys ypologistes.
>
>
> Hr8e epiteloys h wra na kanw to prwto moy tajidi ws ypallhlos, na paw
> stis Bryjelles gia ena pen8hmero seminario se ena ereynhtiko kentro.
> Dhladh na xasmoyriemai 8 wres th mera mprosta se state-of-the-art
> mhxanhmata, enw enas Kinezos moy ejhgei se agglika me Belgikh profora, to
> giati h biblio8hkh poy ftiajan einai katallhlh gia hardware simulation,
> mexri na fygw kai na plakwsw tis mpyres kai ta skalopinia se kapoio kalo
> estiatorio, prin thn episkech sthn red-light district (panta me lefta ths
> etaireias). Petame panw apo tis Alpeis kai hdh me exei piasei mia
> apisteyth rastwnh kai moyrgela, mallon apo tis mini-botkes poy exw
> tsakisei. O solomos htan kalos, alla elafra parapagwmenos gia ta goysta
> moy, alla to xabiari mpeloygka htan apisteyto.
>
>
>
> Panta prwth 8esh, se megales anetes dermatines poly8rones. Kanonika hmoyn
> oikonomikh, alla ena filaraki sthn Olympiakh ekane ena "la8os" kai allaje
> th 8esh moy me ayth kapoioy K. Shmith. To onoma kati moy leei, alla h
> botkoposia den me afhnei na skeftw ka8ara.
>
>
>
> -Sygnwmh,to laptop sas ti epejergasth exei;
>
>
>
> To ba8ytato jysimo moy diakoptetai apo mia ekneyristikh fwnh. Anoigw ta
> matia moy kai entromos anakalyptw sth 8esh dipla moy enan pitsirika me
> koystoymi. Mia grhgorh epi8ewrhsh toy anoixtoy toy laptop kai toy epishs
> anoixtoy dermatinoy xartofylaka toy epibebaiwnoyn to fobo moy, pws
> prokeitai gia foithth kapoias sxolhs die8nwn sxesewn poy paei stis
> Bryjelles gia ena apo ayta ta trihmera kata ta opoia mazeyontai ta
> kahmena ap' olh th gh kai kanoyn ejomoiwseis twn synedriasewn toy OHE,
> ftanontas se orgasmikes empeiries skeptomenoi pws *aytoi* 8a swsoyn ton
> kosmo se liga xronia. (Sthn pragmatikothta 8a ginoyn tris -kai tetrakis-
> xeiroteroi apo toys shmerinoys, alla ama toys to peis tsantizontai)
>
>
>
> -Sygnwmh,den akoysa;
>
>
>
> -Lew, ti epejergasth exei to laptop sas;
>
>
>
> Epimenei... xmmm... fainetai kalo 8yma, 8a ma8ei loipon giati den prepei
> na me enoxlei.
>
>
>
> -Exw enan ULTRA SPARC sta 3Ghz (den yperballoyme poly apo thn arxh,
> prepei na mas empisteytei!)
>
>
>
> -Alh8eia; Den hjera oti ta Windows synergazontai me SPARC (Panejypno
> einai to atimo)
>
>
>
> -Swsta ta les
>
>
>
> -Kai tote ti leitoyrgiko exeis;
>
>
>
> -Solaris 8
>
>
>
> -Oyoaoy!!! 8a prepei na eisai poly proxwrhmenos! Egw exw enan celeron,
> alla exw SCSI panw.(Oxi gia poly akoma.)
>
>
>
> -Peripoy... Esy trexeis XP ap' o,ti blepw. 8a prepei na eisai poly
> mizeros!
>
>
>
> Xazogelaei prospa8wntas na katalabei an to lew alh8eia h kanw xioymor.
> Apofasizei oti kanw xioymor kai synexizei (me tetoia kritikh ikanothta,
> na toys xesw toys mellontes diplwmates...)
>
>
>
> -Alla den eimai eyxaristhmenos apo thn apodosh (ti na thn kaneis palikari
> moy, etsi kai alliws keimenakia grafeis!)
>
>
>
> Hr8e omws h wra na sobarecoyme ta pragmata...
>
>
>
> -Jereis pws mporeis na anebaseis thn apodosh toy ypologisth soy, me mia
> aplh texnikh;
>
>
>
> -E;;; Pws; Ginetai ayto; Mporeis na peirajeis ton epejergasth;
>
>
>
> -Eee... oxi akribws, alla 8a kerdiseis taxythta. Den kanei omws na s' to
> pw, giati m' aythn thn praktikh akyrwnetai h eggyhsh soy. Epishs isws na
> mhn eisai arketa empeiros na to kaneis... (foithths die8nwn,poy 8a dextei
> ypotimhtiko sxolio; ME TIPOTA. To cari tsimphse!)
>
>
>
> -Oxi, oxi, eimai poly cagmenos, diabazw kai PC MASTER. Pes moy kai de me
> noiazei h eggyhsh (cagmenos; Pc Master;;; xaxaxaxa... a re caroykla ti 8a
> pa8eis...)!
>
>
>
> - Entajei... Exeis mhpws kapoio syndethra;
>
>
>
> -Nai, nai! Edw einai! (8a gelasoyme..)
>
>
>
> -Loipon: To kolpo einai pws 8a ayjhsoyme thn syxnothta leitoyrgias toy
> SCSI BUS soy, dioxeteyontas mikra diakoptomena posa energeias. Gyrna to
> laptop, bale th mia akrh toy syndethra sthn ejodo twn akoystikwn kai thn
> allh ston scsi connector. Etsi, opote paizeis ena cd, h tash poy
> dioxeteyetai sthn ejodo twn akoystikwn 8a energopoiei to bus, to opoio 8a
> doyleyei se megalyterh taxythta. Etsi 8a kerdizeis apodosh OSO kai OPOTE
> 8es!
>
>
>
> Ta salia toy 8ymatos trexoyn anejelegkta kai exei xacei to dolwma, to
> agkistri, thn petonia kai to kalami mazi.
>
>
>
> -Eeee... den exw cd mazi moy twra. Mporw na to balw sto mikrofwno;
>
>
>
> -Akoma kalytera! Etsi 8a elegxeis me th fwnh soy thn tash poy dineis!
> Jekina apo siganoys hxoys gia na deis pws paei!
>
>
>
> Meta apo 15 lepta, ta neyra moy exoyn ginei xordes, ka8ws o pitsirikas
> anakalyce pws to na sfyraei sto mikrofwno exei ws apotelesma (an
> ejairesoyme enan ekneyristikotato hxo apo ta hxeia) thn ayjhsh
> (!?!?!?!?!?!?) ths apodoshs toy mhxanhmatos toy. Fainetai pws to mhxanhma
> toy einai poly pio an8ektiko ap' ayta poy eixa dei mexri twra kai kanw
> ena egkefaliko shmeiwma na zhthsw apo to afentiko moy ena idio.
>
>
>
> Eytyxws kataf8anei boh8eia sth morfh enos apisteyta ekneyrismenoy kyrioy
> poy oyrliazei ston pitsirika:
>
>
>
> -8A TO KLEISEIS EPITELOYS AYTO TO PALIOPRAMA;;;
>
>
>
> Akribws ayth th stigmh, o syndethras ta dinei ola!
>
>
>
> 8aymazw siwphra thn apodotikothta twn anixneytwn kapnoy toy aeroplanoy
> kai kratiemai na mhn pa8w emfragma apo ta gelia blepontas thn fatsa toy
> 8ymatos... H aerosynodos ton eidopoiei pws fwtia sto aeroplano exei ws
> epiptwsh 1000 eyrwpoyla (ti to '8ele to HUGO BOSS koystoymi o kakomoirhs;
> Misotimhs 8a toy to paroyn sto Monasthraki, ase poy den 8a exei na to
> deixnei sta alla kahmena ths sxolhs toy) kai ton diwxnei apo dipla moy.
>
>
>
> Menontas monos moy, xamogelaw sygkatabatika sthn aerosynodo poy moy
> zhtaei sygnwmh gia thn enoxlhsh, paraggelnw allh mia botka kai japlwnw to
> ka8isma...
>

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