JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Disorder in the American Courts!!



(nil): Μυρτώ (myrtoiro(@)yahoo.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 12 Μάι 2006 - 14:38:54 EEST

Καλημέρα σε όλη τη λίστα!! Το κείμενο μου ήρθε στα Αγγλικά, αλλά επειδή δεν
είχα χρόνο για την μετάφραση, σας το πρωωθώ όπως ακριβώς το παρέλαβα!!

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things
people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by
court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were
actually taking place.

 ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
 WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
 ______________________________

 ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
 WITNESS: July 18th.
 ATTORNEY: What year?
 WITNESS: Every year.
 _____________________________________

 ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
 WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
 ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
 WITNESS: Forty-five years
 ___________________________________________

 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
 WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
 ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
 WITNESS: My name is Susan.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
 WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ___________________________________

 ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
 WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
 ________________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
 WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
 WITNESS: None.
 ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
 WITNESS: By death.
 ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
 WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
 WITNESS: Oral.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
 WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy
on him.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 WITNESS: Huh?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

  ~ Μ υ ρ τ ώ ~
 

        

        
                
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