JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: News Flash: Scientists Discover New Element

(nil): Agamemnon Kaimakis (agis(@)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 11 Απρ 1997 - 10:26:54 EEST

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
university physicists. The element, tentatively named Administratium,
has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0.
However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice
assistant neutrons, and 161 associate vice assistant neutrons. This
gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247 particles are held together
in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of
meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
added to one reaction caused it to take over four days to complete.
Without Administratium, the reaction ordinarily occured in less than
one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at
which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice assistant neutrons,
and associate vice neutrons exchange places. Studies seem to show the
atomic number actually increases after each reorganization.

Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the
atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as
government agencies, large corporations and universities. It can be
found in the newest, best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.

Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and
recommend plenty of fluids and rest even after low levels of exposure.

Agamemnon Kaimakis

Technical Press SA - TechLink
E-mail: agis(@)
Tel: +301 9961861
Fax: +301 9961864

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