JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: Auto insurance claims

(nil): Dimitrios Bartzos (bartzos(@)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 07 Μαΐ 1997 - 18:38:47 EEST

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the detail of an accident in the fewest
words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that
even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining:

 Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
 don't have.

 The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its

 I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my
 head through it.

 I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

 A truck backed through my windsheld into my wife's face.

 The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
 hit him.

 I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
 headed over the embankment.

 In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

 I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
 reached an intersection, a hedge sprang, obscuring my vision and I did not see
 the other car.

 I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
 joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

 I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had
 an accident.

 My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vwehicle.

 The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

 A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

 As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place
 where no sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid
 the accident.

 I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
 road when I struck him.

 I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounded off the roof
 of my car.

 I told police that I was not injured but on removing my hat found that I
 had a fractured skull.

 The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a
 big mouth.

 I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
 ditch by some stray cows.

 The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its
 way, when it struck the front end.

Rutgers EE

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