(nil): Akis Karnouskos (akis(@)ceid.upatras.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Σαβ 14 Ιουν 1997 - 12:00:58 EEST
New EC Regulations
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Herr
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room
for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would
be known as "EuroEnglish": --
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this
will make the sivil sevants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful,
and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary
"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud
of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!