(nil): Constantinos Dimitriou (cd230(@)hermes.cam.ac.uk)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 20 Μαΐ 1998 - 22:46:43 EEST
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> Gi' ayto, steile kanena anekdoto kai stamata na foyskwneis san galopoylo
> tis plakas kai na kokoreyesai! :)
Symfwnw apolyta me ton filo Harry. Kyrie moy, den mas endiaferei poso
megalo bandwidth exete sto panepisthmio sas. Pao stoixhma pos oytos h
allos o monos tropos me ton opoio to axiopoieite einai kanontas download
tolmhres fotografies ellhnidon supermodels. Parakalo sobareyteite!
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"Bad English" signs around the world
Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E'
for Effort.
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you
are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit
up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should
press a number of wishing
floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet
composers,
artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope
for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red
beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck
let loose; beef rashers
beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
we will execute customers in strict rotation.
From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by
150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed
over the past two
years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on
our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
instance, men and women, live
together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that
purpose.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the
latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakin tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on
your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them
in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the
USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have
children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other
diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water
served here.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in
your room, please control
yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot
heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but
if he still obstacles your
passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance: - English well speaking -
Here speeching American.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
porter.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has
been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to
right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coates made for ladies from
their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranted to work
throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend
courteous, efficient self-service.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
Constantinos Dimitriou
Just Postpone It (R)
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Joke of the Day ... Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων
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