JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: Ιδέες για μηνύματα στον τηλεφωνητή #2

(nil): George Anagnostopoulos (firefly(@)hol.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τρι 16 Ιουν 1998 - 15:06:05 EEST

Τίποτα δεν ξεπερνάει τα δικά μου μηνύματα, των τελευταίων δύο ετών:

1. "Ναι; ... ... Εμπρός; ΕΜΠΡΟΣ; ... *** ΕΜΠΡΟΣ; *** Καλά, επειδή είμαι
τηλεφωνητής αφήστε μήνυμα. <BEEP>"

Κανείς ποτέ δεν πίστεψε ότι πραγματικά ήταν τηλεφωνητής και όλοι συνέχιζαν να
μιλάνε. Πολλοί μάλιστα άφηναν μηνύματα "Α ρε μπαγάσα, θα σε σκοτώσω που με
έχεις και φωνάζω!"

2. Ηχογράφησα το μήνυμα του ΟΤΕ "Ο αριθμός που καλέσατε δεν αντιστοιχεί σε
συνδρομητή του ΟΤΕ. Πριν καλέσετε πάλι, συμβουλευθείτε την υπηρεσία καταλόγου
Αττικής στον αριθμό 131" (και ακολουθεί στα αγγλικά). <BEEP>

Κανείς δεν άφησε μήνυμα. Όλοι το πίστευαν. Η φάση είναι ότι πρώτα χτυπούσε το
τηλέφωνο 4 φορές, κι όμως το πίστευαν.

3. "Ναι; .... Α έλα ρε. Τι γίνεται, καλά; Τι νέα; ... Ahuh, ahuh... Άντε ρε,
σοβαρά; Καλά, επειδή όμως εγώ είμαι τηλεφωνητής άσε μήνυμα. <BEEP>"

Το κακό είναι πως δεν ακούτε μετά τι λένε οι άλλοι όσοι ώρα νομίζουν πως
μιλάνε με εσάς.

Akis Karnouskos wrote:
>
> Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world
> famous international institute of answering machine answers.
>
> My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave
> your name and number, we'll get back to you just as soon as we're
> finished.
>
> Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right
> now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing
> it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So
> leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back
> to you.
>
> A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're ot
> here. So leave a message.
>
>
> Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
> money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my
> financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are
> my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have
> plenty of money.
>
>
> (Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the
> telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of
> toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at
> incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort
> is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
>
> "Hi. Now you say something."
>
>
> "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
>
>
> (From my Japanese friend in Toronto) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave
> message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
>
> "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
> Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one
> of these magnets."
>
> "Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped
> with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you
> want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to
> the phone."
>
> "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
> messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and
> their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and
> do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your
> name and number and they will get back to you"
>
> "This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
> thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your
> reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think
> about returning your call."
>
> "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
> me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
>
> "Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
> Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
>
> "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons
> right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't
> home and it's safe to leave us a message."
>
> "You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
> sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to
> resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly
> compelled to leave a message.
>
> "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice
> patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once
> this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your*
> voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is
> no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of
> professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to
> further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your
> schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone.
> Thank-you."
>
> Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
> Everything you say will be recorded and will be used.
>
> ---- and for those that know some math :
>
> "Hello, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone
> 90 degrees and try again."
>
> ______________________________________________________________________
>
> Joke of the Day ... Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων
> Πληροφορίες --> https://anekdota.duckdns.org/jokes_list.html
> ______________________________________________________________________ 

-- 
G. Anagnostopoulos
    My life is a cartoon! * BA Business Studies, Uni of Glamorgan
    Old age is when a broad mind and a narrow waist trade places.
______________________________________________________________________
 Joke of the Day ... Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων
 Πληροφορίες --> https://anekdota.duckdns.org/jokes_list.html
______________________________________________________________________

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