JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: Οι 5 πιο σκληρές ερωτήσεις...

(nil): Georgia Mandilara (gmandilara(@)
Ημερομηνία: Δευ 30 Νοε 1998 - 12:05:39 EET

The 5 toughest questions that women ask men and the answers...
The questions are:
      1. What are you thinking about?
      2. Do you love me?
      3. Do I look fat?
      4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
      5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is
guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers
incorrectly(i.e.,tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service,
each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been
pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,
thoughtful, caring,
intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."This
response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
most likely is one of the following:
      a. Baseball.
      b. Football
      c. How fat you are.
      d. How much prettier she is than you.
      e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy,
who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I
would be talking to you!")

Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer
is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
      A. I suppose so.
      B. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
      C. That depends on what you mean by love.
      D. Does it matter?
      E. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the
incorrect answers are:
      A. Compared to what?
      B. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
      C. A little extra weight looks good on you.
      D. I've seen fatter.
      E. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how
I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect responses include:
        a. Yes, but you have a better personality
        b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
        c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
        d. Define pretty
        e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about
how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question# 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a
Corvette.") No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least
an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
Woman: Would you get married again?
M: No, dear!
W: Why not, don't you like being married?
M: Of course I do.
W: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
M: Okay, I'd get married again.
W: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
M: Yes, I would.
W: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
M: Where else would we sleep?
W: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with
pictures of her?
M: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
W: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
M: Of course not, Dear. She's left-handed.

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