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Θέμα: Men Bashing

(nil): Hahaha !!! (letters4me4(@)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 04 Δεκ 1998 - 06:45:20 EET

Men Bashing

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called ?
The man.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women ?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

What do you call a handcuffed man ?

Why are men like commercials ?
You can't believe a word they say.

Why are women so bad at mathematics ?
Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and
forefinger) is 9 inches.

What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris ?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening ?

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner ?
When the power goes off.

What do men and women have in common ?
They both distrust men.

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt
gifts ?
Guilt gifts are nicer.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man ?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

How is a man like the weather ?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

What is the difference between a man and childbirth ?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the
other is just having a baby.

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating
hunger.What do men dream of ?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common ?
They're married.

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is ?
An insurance company.

Why don't men often show their true feelings ?
Because they don't have any.

Why do men have a hole in their penis ?
So oxygen can get to their brains.

What's easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman ?
A snowwoman is easier to make, 'cause with a snowman you have to hollow
out the head and use all that extra snow to make its testicles.

What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing ?

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners ?
So men can remember them.

Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful" ?
God to Man: "So you would love her."
"But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb" ?
God replies: "So she would love you."

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft
before creating a masterpiece.

Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married
women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is
no such thing as a good man.

Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male
gender ?

MENtal breakdown

What's the difference between government bonds and men ?
Bonds mature.

What's the difference between a man and E.T. ?
E.T. phoned home.

How are men like noodles ?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Why do men like BMWs ?
They can spell it.

What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common ?
Men always miss them.

Why are men like popcorn ?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Why are men and spray paint alike ?
One squeeze and they're all over you.

 Why are men like blenders ?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why is food better than men ?
Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Why do so many women fake orgasm ?
Because so many men fake foreplay.

Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much ?
They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.

Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars ?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 10,000
miles, whichever came first.

What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date ?

What is the difference between men and pigs ?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

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