JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: Re: Greek students in the UK

(nil): Drakoularakos (S.Drakoularakos(@)herts.ac.uk)
Ημερομηνία: Σαβ 20 Μαρ 1999 - 14:49:21 EET

Tha mou epitrepsete na prostheso merika akoma (apo prosopiki empeiria
fisika kai horis na me vgazo ap'ekso!).

42. Sunglasses! What's life without a pair of sunglasses? Wear them all
day and night (you can put them on your head) long even if you haven't
seen the sun for the past seven days!

43. Everytime you go for a "cafe" (everyday that is) do not forget to
bring your " SGI tavli" (Strictly Greek Import) along.

44. Do not forget to fight in public places and while all of your friends
are there (to come to your rescue).

45. Do not forget to teach the internationally acclaimed word "malakaaa !"
to as many "xenous" as you can. And then, be very proud of your teaching
skills.

46. Do not forget to verbally abuse everyone. Espexially those that do not
understand your language.

47. Wear your SGI yellow "oreivatika" shoes all day, every day.

48. Do not forget to tell everyone about Olympiakos' success in Europe
(edo mpeno ego!) even if they 've only heard of Panathinaikos!

49. Do not forget "Queue-jumping". After all, all "xenoi" are "malakes"
and will not see you.

50. Greet every Greek friend that you see with a smile and as soon as he
is off your way, be sure to "thapseis" him.

Afta. Kai eimai akomi stin arhi :=)

Stavros

On Fri, 19 Mar 1999 ptrim(@)csd.uch.gr wrote:

> Kai meta apo mia mikrh logomaxia me thn filh mou thn
> Gianna Pappa, stelnw ena mikro "Odhgo Epityxias gia
> Ellhnes Foithtes sthn Agglia" (einai efarmosimos kai
> se alles xwres).
> Emena eidika mou aresei to 41.
>
> PanoS
>
> HOW TO BE A COOL GREEK STUDENT IN ENGLAND !
>
> 1. Wear clothes of two colors: black or white.
> 2. Own a mobile phone and use it at inappropriate times and places
> restaurants, cafes, lectures, dates.
> 3. Own a mobile phone and make sure its stood up in full view on the
> table when you are having your 'cafe'.
> 4. Keep checking your mobile for calls even if nobody has called
> you.
> 5. Refer to anyone who's not Greek as "xeni" and pity them for not
> being as cultured and sophisticated as the Greeks.
> 6. Have predominantly Greek friends, with a few token "xeni" thrown
> in for diversity. Talk Greek when the "xeni" are around.
> 7. Dress as though you are headed for a club when you're actually
> going to your lectures.
> 8. If you are a Greek woman, stare menacingly at other women around you,
>
> especially if they're English or more attractive than you.
> 9. Smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and smoke only
> Marlboros.
> 10.Travel only in groups of 10 or more & be as loud as possible at all
> times.
> 11.If you own a car, think you are the coolest guy in town and cruise
> around all day even if you own a B reg. Yugo.
> 12.If you own a Nissan Bluebird, swear at anyone that thinks you are a
> Pakistani taxi driver.
> 13.If you're single, go to all Greek college/club parties and all Greek
> Youth conferences, even if you're 45 years old.
> 14.When you go to Greek parties, greet everyone ecstatically with hugs
> and kisses even if you have seen them that morning.
> 15.If you're a single Greek guy, tell 'agglides' you're a "successful
> businessman" or that you "own a successful business back in Greece"
> even if you're an unemployed goat farmer.
> 16.When in a nightclub, stand and bob your head even if everyone around
> you is frantically dancing away to 'Staying Alive'
> 17.Dance away like you've been hit by 1000volts when your favourite
> house tune comes on, and hit everyone around you with your swinging
> arms.
> 18.Call all dance music 'rave'.
> 19.Wear only "designer" labels-even if you buy them off a cart on a
> sidewalk in Soho.
> 20.Make sure "designer" labels are extremely visible, preferably
> embroidered on the front of the apparel.
> 21.If you're a Greek guy, be indifferent and rude to any woman you're
> interested in dating, especially if she's Greek.
> 22.If you're a Greek guy, date 'agglides' because Greek women won't let
> you near their knickers unless you marry them.
> 23.If you're a Greek woman, don't have sex with anyone during your
> student life because you're worried what everybody else will think.
> 24.Wear a leather jacket at ALL times...even in the summer.
> 25.Guys: if you have hair, get it cut every week and use at least 3
> different styling products; if you're bald, develop a big ego to mask
>
> your insecurity. (Applicable to short men also.)
> 26.If you are a Greek woman, dye your hair an obviously fake shade of
> blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
> 27.Make the coffee shop your second home.
> 28.Live in London and think the rest of the Greeks in England are
> 'horiates'.
> 29.Beer must only be drunk from bottles of Becks or Budweiser.
> 30.Go to none of your lectures but still manage to pass your year.
> 31.Don't do a project unless you can copy it from a friend of yours in
> the year above, even if it is a 50 word essay.
> 32.Study one of these two subjects : Engineering,
> Business/ Economics
> 30.Go out with 'agglides' because it seems like all the Greek women that
>
> come to England look like you grandmother's ass.
> 31.Smoke dope because you know you won't get arrested for it.
> 32.Whenever you break the law, pretend you don't speak English and hope
> they let you of.
> 33.For example: never ever buy a TV license!
> 34.Bring around 5000 duty free cigaretes with you every time you come
> back from Greece.
> 35.Smoke them all in a week.
> 36.If you live in London call yourself a 'Londrezos.'
> If you live in Birmingham call yourself a 'Broomis'
> If you live in Manchester call yourself a 'Manchesterianos
> If you live in Liverpool call yourself a 'Liverpooleos'
> If you live in Cardiff call yourself a 'sheep shagging Welsh bastard'
>
> If you live in Sheffield call yourself a 'Sefildakias'
> If you live in Aberdeen call yourself 'stou dialou ti mana'
> 37.Study 'Greek style' by failing your first year twice and your second
> year three times so that you can be a student for ten years.
> 38.Spend the whole of your university life within one mile of your
> University campus and never go and visit places in England.
> 39.Spend £400 a month on calls to Greece and still have enough money to
> go to the 'boozookia'
> 40.Chat up all the women in the club but settle for the fat, ugly 45
> year old because you have 'ouzo' goggles.
> 41.And finally: Have sex with 2 'patsoures' in your 5 years in
> England and tell everyone back home that they are all 'mounares'
> and you shagged a different one every weekend.
>
>
>
>
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