(nil): Panageas, Andreas J (andreas.j.panageas(@)lmco.com)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 06 Οκτ 1999 - 21:17:24 EEST
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> Answering Machine Message at the Mental Health Institute
>
> "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
>
> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>
> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>
> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>
> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
> line so we can trace your call.
>
> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> mother ship.
>
> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
> which number to press.
>
> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press -
> no-one will answer.
>
> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
>
> If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a
> representative comes on the line.
>
> If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
> date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
>
> If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press
> 000.
>
> If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
> before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too
> busy to talk to you."
>
> If you are catatonic please stay on the line
>
>
>
Andreas Panageas
Lockheed Martin
Senior Staff Hardware Design Engineer
(408) 742-2826
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