JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: THE PERFECT DAY


(nil): Eugene Skouras (eugene(@)chemeng.upatras.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Πεμ 13 Απρ 2000 - 13:08:22 EEST

THE PERFECT DAY

FOR HER
0815 - wake up to hugs & kisses
0830 - weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday
0845 - breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed OJ & croissants. Open
       present of expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
0915 - soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
1000 - light work out at club with handsome and funny personal trainer
1030 - facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
1200 - lunch w/best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
1245 - catch sight of husband's/boyfriend's ex and notice she's gained 7kg
1300 - shopping with friends. Unlimited credit
1500 - nap
1600 - 3 dozen red roses delivered by florist. Card from secret admirer
1615 - light work out at club, followed by a massage by a strong
       but gentle hunk who says he's never seen such a perfect body
1730 - choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade in front of
       full-length mirror
1930 - candle-lit dinner for 2 followed by dancing. Compliments received
       from other diners/dancers
2200 - hot shower (alone)
2250 - carried to bed (freshly ironed, crisp, new white linen)
2300 - pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
2315 - fall asleep in his big strong arms.

FOR HIM
0600 - alarm
0601 - blow job
0630 - massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section
0700 - breakfast. Full fry-up. Cooked by naked, buxom wench.
0730 - limo arrives
0745 - several whiskeys en route to airport
0915 - flight in personal Lear jet
1000 - round of golf
1200 - several whiskeys at 19th hole
1230 - several more whiskeys in limo back to airport
1300 - helicopter flight to Wembley
1330 - several pre-match beers
1500 - England/Greece. Final score 0-11
1700 - flight in personal Lear jet to Monte Carlo
1800 - late evening fishing excursion with an all female crew(naked).
       Catch world-record sized Great White shark single-handed.
2130 - fly back. Several large whiskeys and a few ports with an
       in-flight meal of lobster, Dom Perignon (1953) and a big juicy
       fillet steak. Followed by ice-cream served on a pair of tits.
2230 - back in time for Match of the Day (watched with re-hydrating lager)
2330 - massage, jacuzzi, cleansing ale and sex with 3 women (all with
       lesbian tendencies)
2350 - a nightcap blow job
2355 - in bed (alone)
2359 - a 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
       leave the room.

THE END

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