JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: to kotsanologio toy Bush Jr

(nil): ZAFEIRIADIS TASOS (yoda(@)
Ημερομηνία: Δευ 06 Νοέ 2000 - 23:17:52 EET

     Ayto einai to apolyto kotsanologio toy George Bush Jr.

den to metafrazw giati exw na kanw delete kapoia mail spasarxidikwn atomwn
poy anti na paizoyn me ayto poy exoyn anamesa sta dikhgorika podia toys,
paizoyn me ta neyra mas.

Akh h lista paraeinai anektikh

                       "They want the federal government
                       controlling Social Security like it's some kind
                       of federal program."-St. Charles, Mo., Nov.
                       2, 2000

                      "They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem
                       to resignate with the people.' And I said, you
                       know something? Whether it resignates or not
                       doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing
                       what's the right thing, and what the right thing is
                       hearing the voices of people who
                       work."-Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

                       "Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts
                       out, after you go out and help us turn out the
                       vote, after we've convinced the good Americans
                       to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old
                       George W. lever, if I'm the one, when I put my
                       hand on the Bible, when I put my hand on the
                       Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I
                       put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to
                       not-to uphold the laws of the land."-Toledo,
                       Ohio, Oct. 27, 2000

                       "It's your money. You paid for it."-LaCrosse,
                       Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

                       "That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th,
                       20th, the 21st century that most of us would
                       rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th
                       century. This is the first chapter of the 21st
                       century. "-On the Lewinsky scandal, Arlington
                       Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

                       "It's important for us to explain to our nation that
                       life is important. It's not only life of babies, but
                       it's life of children living in, you know, the dark
                       dungeons of the Internet."-Arlington Heights,
                       Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

                       "I don't want nations feeling like that they can
                       bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a
                       ballistic defense system so that we can make the
                       world more peaceful, and at the same time I
                       want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to
                       the level commiserate with keeping the
                       peace."-Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000

                       "Families is where our nation finds hope, where
                       wings take dream."-LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18,

                       "If I'm the president, we're going to have
                       emergency-room care, we're going to have gag

                       "Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines
                       as we used to know it."

                       "It's one thing about insurance, that's a
                       Washington term."

                       "I think we ought to raise the age at which
                       juveniles can have a gun."

                       "Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it
                       is-I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the
                       death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if
                       I'm the president."

                       "Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way
                       America is all about."

                       "If affirmative action means what I just
                       described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."-St.
                       Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000

                       "Our priorities is our faith."-Greensboro,
                       N.C., Oct. 10, 2000

                       "I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort
                       against racial profiling, which is illiterate
                       children."-Second presidential debate, Oct.
                       11, 2000 (Thanks to Leonard Williams.)

                       "It's going to require numerous IRA
                       agents."-On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro,
                       N.C., Oct. 10, 2000

                       "I think if you know what you believe, it makes
                       it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't
                       answer your question."-In response to a
                       question about whether he wished he could take
                       back any of his answers in the first debate.
                       Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000 (Thanks to
                       Peter Feld.)

                       "I would have my secretary of treasury be in
                       touch with the financial centers, not only here
                       but at home."-Boston, Oct. 3, 2000 (Thanks to
                       M. Bateman.)

                       "I know the human being and fish can coexist
                       peacefully."-Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

                       "I will have a foreign-handed foreign
                       policy."-Redwood, Calif., Sept. 27, 2000

                       "One of the common denominators I have found
                       is that expectations rise above that which is
                       expected."-Los Angeles, Sept. 27, 2000

                       "It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign
                       oil. More and more of our imports come from
                       overseas."-Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000

                       "Well, that's going to be up to the pundits and
                       the people to make up their mind. I'll tell you
                       what is a president for him, for example, talking
                       about my record in the state of Texas. I mean,
                       he's willing to say anything in order to convince
                       people that I haven't had a good record in
                       Texas."-MSNBC, Sept. 20, 2000 (Thanks to
                       Gregory H. Monberg.)

                       "I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of
                       humans."-Oprah, Sept. 19, 2000

                       "A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to
                       coming out of an economic illness."-The Edge
                       With Paula Zahn, Sept. 18, 2000

                       "The woman who knew that I had dyslexia-I
                       never interviewed her."-Orange, Calif., Sept.
                       15, 2000

                       "The best way to relieve families from time is
                       to let them keep some of their own
                       money."-Westminster, Calif., Sept. 13, 2000

                       "They have miscalculated me as a

                       "I don't think we need to be subliminable about
                       the differences between our views on
                       prescription drugs."-Orlando, Fla., Sept. 12,

                       "This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people,
                       my fellow citizens, I like interfacing with
                       them."-Outside Pittsburgh, Sept. 8, 2000

                       "That's Washington. That's the place where you
                       find people getting ready to jump out of the
                       foxholes before the first shot is
                       fired."-Westland, Mich., Sept. 8, 2000

                       "Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is
                       the incumbent. He
                       represents the incumbency. And a challenger is
                       somebody who generally
                       comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to
                       win. And that's where
                       I'm coming from."-Detroit, Sept. 7, 2000
                       (Thanks to Michael Butler, Houston, Texas.)

                       "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and
                       the great country called America will be the
                       pacemakers."-Houston, Texas, Sept. 6, 2000

                       "We don't believe in planners and deciders
                       making the decisions on behalf of
                       Americans."-Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000

                       "I regret that a private comment I made to the
                       vice presidential candidate made it through the
                       public airways."-Allentown, Pa., Sept. 5,

                       "The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me
                       about what has come and is coming."--on his
                       anti-Gore ad, in an interview with the New York
                       Times, Sept. 2, 2000

                       "As governor of Texas, I have set high
                       standards for our public schools, and I have met
                       those standards."--CNN online chat, Aug. 30,

                       "Well, I think if you say you're going to do
                       something and don't do it, that's

                       "I don't know whether I'm going to win or not. I
                       think I am. I do know I'm ready for the job. And,
                       if not, that's just the way it goes."-Des Moines,
                       Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000

                       ''This campaign not only hears the voices of the
                       entrepreneurs and the farmers and the
                       entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those
                       struggling to get ahead."-Ibid.

                       "We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold
                       this nation hostile or hold our allies

                       "I have a different vision of leadership. A
                       leadership is someone who brings people
                       together."-Bartlett, Tenn., Aug. 18, 2000
                       (Thanks to Tarja Black.)

                       "I think he needs to stand up and say if he
                       thought the president were wrong on policy and
                       issues, he ought to say where."-Interview with
                       the Associated Press, Aug. 11, 2000 (Thanks to
                       Ryan Rhodes.)

                       "I want you to know that farmers are not going
                       to be secondary thoughts to a Bush
                       administration. They will be in the forethought
                       of our thinking."-Salinas, Calif., Aug. 10,
                       2000 (Thanks to Kris Sester.)

                       "And if he continues that, I'm going to tell the
                       nation what I think about him as a human being
                       and a person."-President George H.W. Bush,
                       on the Today show, Aug. 1, 2000

                       "You might want to comment on that,
                       Honorable."--To New Jersey's secretary of
                       state, the Hon. DeForest Soaries Jr., as quoted
                       by Dana Milbank in the Washington Post, July
                       15, 2000

                       "This case has had full analyzation and has been
                       looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of
                       death penalty cases."--Seattle
                       Post-Intelligencer, June 23, 2000 (Thanks to
                       Johnny Green.)

                       "States should have the right to enact reasonable
                       laws and restrictions particularly to end the
                       inhumane practice of ending a life that
                       otherwise could live."-Cleveland, June 29,
                       2000 (Thanks to Douglas Basford.)

                       "Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been
                       tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant,
                       for example. And we're not a party of
                       anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a
                       party that welcomes people."-Cleveland, July
                       1, 2000 (Thanks to M. Bateman.)

                       "The fundamental question is, 'Will I be a
                       successful president when it comes to foreign
                       policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's
                       going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll
                       be more effective."-In Wayne, Mich., as
                       quoted by Katharine Q. Seelye in the New York
                       Times, June 28, 2000

                       "The only things that I can tell you is that every
                       case I have reviewed I have been comfortable
                       with the innocence or guilt of the person that
                       I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a
                       guilty ... I mean innocent person to death in the
                       state of Texas." All Things Considered, NPR,
                       June 16, 2000 (Thanks to Andy Nouraee.)

                       "I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris.
                       I've read-I understand reality. If you're asking
                       me as the president, would I understand reality,
                       I do."-On abortion, Hardball, MSNBC; May
                       31, 2000

                        "There's not going to be enough people in the
                       system to take advantage of people like
                       me."-On the coming Social Security crisis;
                       Wilton, Conn.; June 9, 2000 (Thanks to Andy

                       "I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart
                       enough to handle the job is
                       underestimating."-U.S. News & World Report,
                       April 3, 2000 (Thanks to Alfred Stanley,
                       Austin, Texas.)

                       Bush: "First of all, Cinco de Mayo is not the
                       independence day. That's dieciseis de
                       Septiembre, and ..."
                       Matthews: "What's that in English?"
                       Bush: "Fifteenth of September." (Dieciseis de
                       Septiembre = Sept. 16)
                       -Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000 (Thanks to
                       numerous readers.)

                       "Actually, I-this may sound a little West
                       Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking
                       about-when I'm talking about myself, and
                       when he's talking about myself, all of us are
                       talking about me."-Ibid.

                       "This is a world that is much more uncertain
                       than the past. In the past we were certain, we
                       were certain it was us versus the Russians in
                       the past. We were certain, and therefore we had
                       huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to
                       keep the peace. That's what we were certain of.
                       ... You see, even though it's an uncertain world,
                       we're certain of some things. We're certain that
                       even though the 'evil empire' may have passed,
                       evil still remains. We're certain there are
                       people that can't stand what America stands for.
                       ... We're certain there are madmen in this
                       world, and there's terror, and there's missiles
                       and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to
                       maintain the peace, we better have a military of
                       high morale, and I'm certain that under this
                       administration, morale in the military is
                       dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the
                       Washington Post, May 31, 2000

                       "He has certainly earned a reputation as a
                       fantastic mayor, because the results speak for
                       themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place
                       for him to be."-On Rudy Giuliani, The Edge
                       With Paula Zahn, May 18, 2000 (Thanks to
                       Peter Goldman.)

                       "The fact that he relies on facts-says things
                       that are not factual-are going to undermine his
                       campaign."-New York Times, March 4, 2000
                       (Thanks to Garry Trudeau.)

                       "I think we agree, the past is over."-On his
                       meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning
                       News, May 10, 2000

                       "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in
                       it."--Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison

                       GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the
                       newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me,
                       the picture of the guy storming the house with a
                       scared little boy there. I talked to my little
                       brother, Jeb-I haven't told this to many people.
                       But he's the governor of-I shouldn't call him
                       my little brother--my brother, Jeb, the great
                       governor of Texas.
                       JIM LEHRER: Florida.
                       GOV. BUSH: Florida. The state of the
                       Florida.-The NewsHour With Jim Lehrer,
                       April 27, 2000

                       "I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's
                       what I'm interested to know."-On what
                       happened in negotiations between the Justice
                       Department and Elian Gonzalez's Miami
                       relatives, as quoted by the Associated Press,
                       April 26, 2000 (Thanks to Saul Selzer.)

                       "Laura and I really don't realize how bright our
                       children is sometimes until we get an objective
                       analysis."-Meet the Press, April 15, 2000

                       "You subscribe politics to it. I subscribe
                       freedom to it."-Responding to a question about
                       whether he and Al Gore were making the Elian
                       Gonzalez case a political issue. In Palm Beach,
                       Fla., as quoted by the Associated Press, April
                       6, 2000 (Thanks to Helen Kennedy.)

                       "I was raised in the West. The west of Texas.
                       It's pretty close to California. In more ways than
                       Washington, D.C., is close to California."-In
                       Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles
                       Times, April 8, 2000

                       "Reading is the basics for all
                       learning."-Announcing his "Reading First"
                       initiative in Reston, Va., March 28, 2000
                       (Thanks to Carl LaRocca.)

                       "We want our teachers to be trained so they can
                       meet the obligations, their obligations as
                       teachers. We want them to know how to teach
                       the science of reading. In order to make sure
                       there's not this kind of federal-federal
                       cufflink."-At Fritsche Middle School,
                       Milwaukee, March 30, 2000

                       "Other Republican candidates may retort to
                       personal attacks and negative
                       ads."-Fund-raising letter from George W.
                       Bush, quoted in the Washington Post, March
                       24, 2000

                       "I've got a reason for running. I talk about a
                       larger goal, which is to call upon the best of
                       America. It's part of the renewal. It's reform and
                       renewal. Part of the renewal is a set of high
                       standards and to remind people that the
                       greatness of America really does depend on
                       neighbors helping neighbors and children
                       finding mentors. I worry. I'm very worried
                       about, you know, the kid who just wonders
                       whether America is meant for him. I really
                       worry about that. And uh, so, I'm running for a
                       reason. I'm answering this question here and the
                       answer is, you cannot lead America to a
                       positive tomorrow with revenge on one's mind.
                       Revenge is so incredibly negative. And so to
                       answer your question, I'm going to win because
                       people sense my heart, know my sense of
                       optimism and know where I want to lead the
                       country. And I tease people by saying, 'A
                       leader, you can't say, follow me the world is
                       going to be worse.' I'm an optimistic person. I'm
                       an inherently content person. I've got a great
                       sense of where I want to lead and I'm
                       comfortable with why I'm running. And, you
                       know, the call on that speech was, beware. This
                       is going to be a tough campaign."-Interview
                       with the Washington Post, March 23, 2000

                       "People make suggestions on what to say all the
                       time. I'll give you an example; I don't read
                       what's handed to me. People say, 'Here, here's
                       your speech, or here's an idea for a speech.'
                       They're changed. Trust me."-Interview with
                       the New York Times, March 15, 2000

                       "It's evolutionary, going from governor to
                       president, and this is a significant step, to be
                       able to vote for yourself on the ballot, and I'll
                       be able to do so next fall, I hope."-In an
                       interview with the Associated Press, March 8,
                       2000 (Thanks to Joshua Micah Marshall.)

                       "It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that
                       is Clinton in nature.''-Los Angeles, Feb. 23,

                       "I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying
                       to convince those college students to accept my
                       tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I
                       happened to go to the university."-Today, Feb.
                       23, 2000

                       "I understand small business growth. I was
                       one."-New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

                       "The senator has got to understand if he's going
                       to have-he can't have it both ways. He can't
                       take the high horse and then claim the low
                       road."-To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb.
                       17, 2000

                       "Really proud of it. A great campaign. And I'm
                       really pleased with the organization and the
                       thousands of South Carolinians that worked on
                       my behalf. And I'm very gracious and
                       humbled."-To Cokie Roberts, This Week, Feb.
                       20, 2000

                       "I don't want to win? If that were the case why
                       the heck am I on the bus 16 hours a day, shaking
                       thousands of hands, giving hundreds of
                       speeches, getting pillared in the press and
                       cartoons and still staying on message to
                       win?"-Newsweek, Feb. 28, 2000

                       "I thought how proud I am to be standing up
                       beside my dad. Never did it occur to me that he
                       would become the gist for cartoonists."-ibid.

                       "If you're sick and tired of the politics of
                       cynicism and polls and principles, come and
                       join this campaign."-Hilton Head, S.C., Feb.
                       16, 2000

                       "How do you know if you don't measure if you
                       have a system that simply suckles kids
                       through?"-Explaining the need for educational
                       accountability in Beaufort, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

                       "We ought to make the pie higher."-South
                       Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

                       "I do not agree with this notion that somehow if
                       I go to try to attract votes and to lead people
                       toward a better tomorrow somehow I get
                       subscribed to some-some doctrine gets
                       subscribed to me."-Meet The Press, Feb. 13,

                       "I've changed my style somewhat, as you know.
                       I'm less-I pontificate less, although it may be
                       hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more
                       interacting with people."-ibid

                       "I think we need not only to eliminate the
                       tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should
                       knock down the tollbooth."-Nashua, N.H., as
                       quoted by Gail Collins in the New York Times,
                       Feb. 1, 2000

                       "The most important job is not to be governor,
                       or first lady in my case."-Pella, Iowa, as
                       quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, Jan.
                       30, 2000

                       "Will the highways on the Internet become more
                       few?"-Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

                       "This is Preservation Month. I appreciate
                       preservation. It's what you do when you run for
                       president. You gotta preserve."-Speaking
                       during "Perseverance Month" at Fairgrounds
                       Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted
                       in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000

                       "I know how hard it is for you to put food on
                       your family."-Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber
                       of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

                       "What I am against is quotas. I am against hard
                       quotas, quotas they basically delineate based
                       upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas,
                       I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how
                       that fits into what everybody else is saying,
                       their relative positions, but that's my
                       position.''-Quoted by Molly Ivins, the San
                       Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000 (Thanks to
                       Toni L. Gould.)

                       "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous
                       world, and you knew exactly who they were,"
                       he said. "It was us vs. them, and it was clear
                       who them was. Today, we are not so sure who
                       the they are, but we know they're there."-Iowa
                       Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000

                       "The administration I'll bring is a group of men
                       and women who are focused on what's best for
                       America, honest men and women, decent men
                       and women, women who will see service to our
                       country as a great privilege and who will not
                       stain the house."-Des Moines Register debate,
                       Iowa, Jan. 15, 2000

                       "This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of
                       madmen and uncertainty and potential mential
                       losses."-At a South Carolina oyster roast, as
                       quoted in the Financial Times, Jan. 14, 2000

                       "We must all hear the universal call to like your
                       neighbor just like you like to be liked

                       "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children
                       learning?"-Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

                       "Gov. Bush will not stand for the subsidation of

                       "There needs to be debates, like we're going
                       through. There needs to be town-hall meetings.
                       There needs to be travel. This is a huge
                       country."-Larry King Live, Dec. 16, 1999

                       "I read the newspaper."-In answer to a
                       question about his reading habits, New
                       Hampshire Republican Debate, Dec. 2, 1999

                       "I think it's important for those of us in a
                       position of responsibility to be firm in sharing
                       our experiences, to understand that the babies
                       out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom
                       and baby alike. ... I believe we ought to say
                       there is a different alternative than the culture
                       that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in
                       society. ... And, you know, hopefully, condoms
                       will work, but it hasn't worked."-Meet the
                       Press, Nov. 21, 1999

                       "The students at Yale came from all different
                       backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within
                       months, I knew many of them."-From A
                       Charge To Keep, by George W. Bush,
                       published November 1999

                       "It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who
                       has not yet earned his party's nomination to start
                       speculating about vice presidents."-Keene,
                       N.H., Oct. 22, 1999, quoted in the New
                       Republic, Nov. 15, 1999

                       "The important question is, How many hands
                       have I shaked?"-Answering a question about
                       why he hasn't spent more time in New
                       Hampshire, in the New York Times, Oct. 23,

                       "I don't remember debates. I don't think we
                       spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did,
                       but I don't remember."-On discussions of the
                       Vietnam War when he was an undergraduate at
                       Yale, Washington Post, July 27, 1999

                       "The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I
                       learned first-hand from your foreign minister,
                       who came to Texas."-To a Slovak journalist
                       as quoted by Knight Ridder News Service, June
                       22, 1999. Bush's meeting was with Janez
                       Drnovsek, the prime minister of Slovenia.

                       "If the East Timorians decide to revolt, I'm sure
                       I'll have a statement."-Quoted by Maureen
                       Dowd in the New York Times, June 16, 1999

                       "Keep good relations with the
                       Grecians."-Quoted in the Economist, June 12,

                       "Kosovians can move back in."-CNN Inside
                       Politics, April 9, 1999

                       "It was just inebriating what Midland was all
                       about then."-From a 1994 interview, as quoted
                       in First Son, by Bill Minutaglio

Η Έβελυν (το ρομπότ της λίστας) γράφει :
Διάσημα τελευταία λόγια:
      (11) H πιθανότητα να συμβεί αυτό που λες είναι μία στο εκατομμύριο.
      (12) Δε θα χτυπούσες άνθρωπο με γυαλιά, σωστά;
      (13) Μα, αυτό το πράγμα στη βαλίτσα σου δεν είναι βιολί.
      (14) Αφού βγάλω την περόνη, είπες να μετρήσω μέχρι το...
      (15) Ώστε είστε καννίβαλοι.
      (16) Τι κάνει αυτό το κουμπί;
      (17) Είναι αλεξίσφαιρο.
      (18) Έλα να περάσουμε απέναντι, ο δρόμος είναι άδειος.
      (19) Μα και βέβαια είναι αποστειρωμένα.
      (20) Ας ζητήσουμε πληροφορίες από εκείνους τους στρατιώτες.
         Joke of the Day ... Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων
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