JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: Governmentium

(nil): Nikos J. FARSARIS (njf(@)
Ημερομηνία: Σαβ 23 Ιουλ 2005 - 11:40:03 EEST

Δεν γράφω κρυόκωλα στη λίστα συνήθως αλλά αυτό αξίζει για τη σημερινή
κυβέρνηση (κρίνοντας εκ των πράξεων της).

New Element Discovered
The fire at Los Alamos has one significant consequence. A secret scientific
document was discovered in a bunker whose security systems were mostly
destroyed by the fire. This document was leaked to the public last weekend.
Actually it reveals nothing that we didn't already suspect. But it does show
that the government has known all along that besides arsenic, lead, mercury,
radon, strontium and plutonium, one more extremely deadly and pervasive
element also exists.
Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the heaviest
element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively
named Governmentium (Gv) but kept top secret for 50 years.
This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number
of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 deputy neutrons, 75 supervisory
neutrons, and 111 team leader neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
it has no electrons, Governmentium is inert. However, it can be detected as
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Governmentium causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less
than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of approximately three
years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the deputy neutrons, supervisory neutrons, and team leader
neutrons exchange places.
In fact, a Governmentium sample's mass will actually increase over time,
since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons
forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some
scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as the "Critical Morass".
Author unknown...

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