JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Tzizikas & Mermigas



(nil): Akis Karnouskos (Akis.Karnouskos(@)cti.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Τρι 27 Φεβ 1996 - 14:52:55 EET

                                        O
                                    MERMHGKAS
                                      KI O
                                    TZITZIKAS

Stov kosmo tns Arxaias Elladas, n gewrgia dev eixe ejelix0ei. Oi
agroikies briskovtav se oikosystnmata poikila kai ygin, me aytofyn
fyta kai av0oyses apoikies evtomwv poy syvnpnrxav me tis sodeies. Ws
apotelesma, oi sitobolwves kai oi ampelwves ntav gematoi apo mia
megaln poikilia akmaiwv, drastnriwv kai glykomilntwv evtomwv. To
pleov ergatiko apo ayta ntav to myrmngki. ξlo to kalokairi doyleye
katw apo tov kayto nlio, apo0nkeye sitari kai sporoys kai
proetoimazotav gia tov makry xeimwva.
        Sto idio libadi zoyse evas tzitzikas poy n zwn toy ntav avemeln,
mia kai edw kai poly kairo eixe aporricei tnv mpoyrzoyadikn fataoylikn
idea toy "va ftiaxtoyme". Gia ekeivov, idavikn zwn snmaive va
eyxaristietai tn fysn me evav adomnto kai paixvidiarika ejereyvntiko
tropo, kai poly syxva ekmetalleyotav tnv eyergesia Tns me to va
koimatai oloklnrn tnv nmera. κlles fores pali tragoydoyse xaroymeva
sto libadi, triaLALI, triaLALO, kai etsi diatnroyse zwvtavn tnv
ploysia proforikn paradosn twv tzitzikiwv.
        Aytn n evallaktikn apocn dev perase aparatnrntn apo to
myrmngki poy mox0oyse se syv0nke kacas kai skovns. Blepovtas tov
tzitzika va xairetai tn zwn toy me toys dikoys toy oroys, n ka0e opn toy
ejw-skeletoy toy nr0e kai edese pio sfixta.
        "Bre, gia koita tov tzitzika", moyrmoyrise to myrmngki. "Ka0etai
japlwmevos oln mera kai tragoyda ta katarameva tragoydia toy. Pote
stnv eyxn 0a deijei kapoia ypey0yvotnta; Dev paei omws kai va tov
apokaleseis bdella, giati ayto 0a ntav prosboln gia ola ta ergatika
aylakwta zwyfia aytns tns xwras. Ka0etai kai me parakoloy0ei
perimevovtas tnv eykairia va pndnjei pavw moy kai va moy parei ola osa
mazeca me kopo kai idrwta. λtsi exoyv ta pragmata m' aytn tn
syvomotajia".
        Apo tnv pleyra toy, o tzitzikas parakoloy0oyse ki ekeivos to
myrmngki alla apo mia apolytws diaforetikn skopia. "Bre, gia koita
ekeivo to myrmngki". skeftotav, "doyleyei toso sklnra gia va
sygkevtrwsei kai va apo0nkeysei to sitari toy. Kai pros ti; Kata ba0os
0a eprepe va prospa0nsei va akoloy0nsei tis epitages toy Zev. Tote 0a
katalabaive oti, gia tnv petra, eva koykoytsi sitarioy eivai to idio me
xilia koykoytsia, kai n broxn dev voiazetai pote gia tnv kalligrafia".
        Ki etsi perase to kalokairi. O mermngkas, poy ntav basikws mia
proswpikotnta typoy A, doyleye toy skotwmoy ka0e mera, alla n
egwistikn kai koivwvika avey0yvn proswpikotnta toy ntav epiznmia gia
tnv ygeia toy. Apektnse elkos toy peptikoy systnmatos, katatromaje
apo kapoioys povos toy 0wrakos kai exase ta perissotera mallia tns
kefalns toy. Peri ta mesa Septembrioy tov afnse n gyvaika toy kai
pnre tn xrysallida, alla aytos oyte poy to paratnrnse. O mermngkas
basavizotav toso poly apo tnv apo0nkeysn toy sitarioy toy, poy
eftase sto snmeio va topo0etnsei eva periploko systnma asfaleias
gyrw apo tov myrmngkolofo me bivteokameres kai avixveytes kivnseis
poy epiavav ka0e ypocnfio kleftn.
        Avamesa stoys ypvoys poy erixve, o tzitzikas ta parakoloy0oyse
ola ayta me kapoia periergeia. Meletoyse episns xa0a giogka, alwvize
tov topo va brei tov kalytero kapoytsivo, ema0e va paizei ki0ara (gia
tnv akribeia eva kai movadiko tragoydi, eva aytosxedio ceytomployz
tragoydaki poy eixe movo treis votes) kai gevika trigyrvoyse apo dw ki
apo kei. Prospa0nse va diatnrnsei tov diaskedastiko-kevtriko tropo
zwns kai va tov prosarmosei stnv evallagn twv epoxwv. Eixe malista
sxediasei, molis o kairos givotav ligotero eyxaristos, va kavei eva
tajidaki stnv Aystralia kai va epido0ei stnv istiosavida.
        ξmws o xeimwvas eftase vwris ekeivn tn xrovia (n to kalokairi
apoxwrnse poly grngora, mia apocn poy ejartatai apo tis
klimatologikes sas protimnseis) kai ta xwrafia metatrapnkav se
xersotopoys. To atyxo tzitziki epese loipov 0yma tns idiotropias twv
metewrologikwv allagwv. Tote arxise va xoropnda sto xwrafi
caxvovtas gia opoiasdnpote morfns trofima. 0a ntav eyxaristnmevo kai
m' eva cixoylo, mia floyda, mia karamelitsa - alla dev ebriske tipota
fagwsimo.
        Syvtoma to tzitziki mpavise to myrmngki poy eserve rwmalea pisw
toy eva oloklnro kalampoki. H peiva viknse tnv pernfavia toy, kai
proswrnse pros to meros toy myrmngkioy me skopo va toy zntnsei va
moirastei mazi toy eva meros apo tov 0nsayro toy. Alla molis to
myrmngki eide tov tzitzika, arxise va oyrliazei.
        "AAAX!!! Ti 0eleis, moy les; Ti kaveis edw pera; μr0es va moy
pareis to kalampoki, to blepw. Jerw poly kala oti olov ayto tov kairo
perimeves tnv nmera poy 0a moy boytoyses ola moy ta yparxovta! Sto
sivafi soy eisaste oloi idioi!"
        To tzitziki prospa0nse va to diakocei alla to myrmngki syvexise
ejallo: "Mnv peis tipota! Mnv prospa0nseis va me kalopiaseis me tis
lypntnres istories soy kai tis ceytikes yposxeseis soy! Doyleca
sklnra gia va apoktnsw ayta poy exw parolo poy dev 0ewreiteai ayto
tns modas se orismevoys kykloys".
        To tzitziki eipe eygevika: "Alla, Adelfe Mergmngka, exeis
sygkevtrwsei poly perissotera apo0ematta apo osa 0a mporoyses pote
va fas".
        "Goysto moy, kapelo moy". eipe to myrmngki, "kai mnv jexvas pws
dev zoyme se kamia aimoroyfnxtra sosialistikn koivwvia... akomn! Mpes
epiteloys sto vonma tzitzika! To movadiko meros poy oi apolayes
proyparxoyv tns doyleias eivai to lejiko".
        "Koita, eixa skopo va paw stnv Aystralia alla o kairos, va
poyme, allaje kai ejafavistnke ka0e eidos diatrofns..."
        "etsi doyleyei n eley0ern agora, dike moy. Na soy givei ma0nma".
        "Syxwra me, Adelfe Mermngka, alla ais0avomai tnv ypoxrewsn
va soy pw oti vomizw pws prepei va doyleceis ligo gia to karma soy. Ta
kymata poy ekpempeis apopveoyv arvntikn evergeia, poy 0a mporoyses va
tn metatreceis poly eykola se 0etikn movov eav...".
        "Koita, eav 0eleis va moy to paijeis mystikistns, tote pes moy:
Poios eivai o nxos poy bgazei eva peivasmevo zwyfio; Xa xa; Xa!".
        To myrmngki kai o tzitzikas diekocav tnv akarpn syvomilia toys
giati akoysav eva bnxaki. Gyrisav to kefali toys kai eidav eva terastio
alogaki tns pavagitsas poy ntav megalytero kai apo toys dyo mazi!
(Paliotera to alogaki tns pavagitsas ntav eva 0rnskolnpto alogaki
alla mia dikastikn apofasn toy apagorece va celvei. Par' ola ayta
diatnroyse mia ba0ia pveymatikotnta.) To myrmngki kai o tzitzikas
fobn0nkav, oxi toso apo to megalytero -apo avalogika- metrio mege0os
alla apo tn baria ki asnkwtn pleyra tns emfavisns toy. Foroyse eva
gkri koystoymi apo polyester kai kafe papoytsia me foyvtakia, kai sta
mprostiva toy podia koybaloyse eva xartofylaka, mia xartivn sakoyla
me to kolatsio toy kai eva kompioyteraki.
        "Eisai to myrmngki;" rwtnse to alogaki tns pavagitsas, av kai
njere poly kala peri poioy eprokeito. "Loipov mermngka, nr0a gia
logistiko elegxo".
        Me aytes tis eji avnsyxntikes lejeis allazei kai o roys tns
istorias mas. 0a paraleicoyme tis leptomereies toy logistikoy elegxoy
kai tis katngories poy diatypw0nkav kai tnv agwgn kai tnv avtagwgn kai
tnv prospa0eia diafygns toy myrmngkioy stn Xaban, giati eivai arketo
va poyme oti n 0nsayros toy laimargoy mermngka katasxe0nke kai
te0nke se pio ypey0yves koivotikes xrnseis, afoy bebaia to myrmngki
apektnse poiviko mntrwo. Ev tw metajy to tzitziki orgavwse eva
programma gia veara evtoma poy epi0ymoysav diakaws politistikes
avtallages me xwres poy exoyv 0ermotero klima. Kai xarn stnv
avakatavomn twv kratikwv esodwv (kai tns perioysias toy myrmngkioy),
to tzitziki diey0yvei apo tote mexri snmera ejereyvntikes apostoles me
istiosavida.

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                   To parapavw ntav eva mikro apospasma apo ta
                         "POLITIKWS OR0OTERA PARAMY0IA"
                              toy James Finn Garner
                     se metafrasn apo tnv Lily Ejarxopoyloy.
                             Gia tnv Hellas On-Line,
                          prosfora twv ekdosewv Diaylos
                    Baltetsioy 10 & Ippokratoys, A0nva 10680
                      Tnl. (01) 3621169 Fax: (01) 3617473

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       Apagoreyetai n avaparagwgn toy parovtos biblioy n meroys aytoy, me
       opoiodnpote meso (fwtotypia, ektypwsn, mikrofilm n alln mnxavikn n
            nlektrovikn me0odo), xwris tnv eggrafn adeia toy ekdotn.
                      Copyright (c) 1995 by James Finn Garner

  ___ _ _
 / _ \ | | __ (_) ___ A mind stretched by a new
| |_| | | |/ / | | / __| idea can never go back to its
| _ | | < | | \__ \ original dimensions.
|_| |_| |_|\_\ |_| |___/


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