JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Jokes from the American Playboy



(nil): Xenitidis Paul (xeniti(@)math.upatras.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 20 Μάρ 1998 - 13:33:18 EET

Είναι η πρώτη μου συνεισφορά στη λίστα.
Ελπίζω να σας αρέσουν τα παρακάτω ανέκδοτα.

* A father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't that
 son or you'll go blind."
  The kid says, "Pop I'm over here."

* Why is a sheep better than a woman?
  A sheep doesn't care if you fuck its sister.

* Why do women fake orgasms?
  Because they think we care.

* What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
  They've each got about one chance in ten million of being
 a human being.

* Two blondes are in a dark theater.
 Blonde No.1: "Hey, the guy next to me is jerking off"
 Blonde No.2: "Just ignore him"
 Blonde No.1: "I can't - he's using my hand"

* Harry keeps telling his wife how much he loves her ass.
 He keeps saying, "Honey you have such a beautiful butt."
 So for his birthday, she decides to have the words
 "beautiful butt" tattooed there.
  She goes to a tattoo parlor, and he says, "Yeah you've got
 a gorgeous ass. But it's so tight and tiny, the word
 `beautiful` won't fit on it. So why don't we just do `B.B.`,
 one B on each cheek?"
  And she agrees because it helps the joke. So the guy puts a
 B on each bun.
  On her husband's birthday, she drops her panties and puts
 her ass in his face.
  Her husband says, "That looks cute. But who's Bob?"

* A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor
 told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
  His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side
 of the town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her".

* A guy walks into an elevator, and the only other person on
 the elevator is a gorgeous blonde. She strips off her
 clothes, throws them on the floor, and says, "I want you to
 treat me like a woman should be treated".
  The guy rips off his clothes, throws them on the floor and
 says, "Okay.... fold those".

* Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensible,
 caring and good-looking?
  Because they already have boyfriends.

* Walsh is standing on the sidewalk when he sees a funeral
 procession coming down the street. There's the hearse, then
 a huge German shepherd, then about a hundred men in single
 file walking behind.
  Walsh asks the guy in front, "Who died?"
  The guy says, "My ex-wife".
  Walsh says, "How?"
  The guy points and says, "That dog... my dog... ate her."
  Walsh says,"Hey, I'd sure like to borrow your dog someday."
  The guy says, "Get in line."

* What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
  Sexual harassment.
  What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
  $3.99 a minute.

* What is the definition of 'making love'?
  Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

* Haberman says to his wife, "If I died, would you date?"
  She says, "Possibly, darling"
  He says, "Would you sleep with him?"
  She says, "Well, yes, if he married me."
  He says, "Would you let him use my golf clubs?"
  She says, "No. He's left-handed."

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