JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Re: Parte kai ena skitso



(nil): Constantinos Dimitriou (cd230(@)hermes.cam.ac.uk)
Ημερομηνία: Τετ 20 Μάι 1998 - 22:46:43 EEST

> Gi' ayto, steile kanena anekdoto kai stamata na foyskwneis san galopoylo
> tis plakas kai na kokoreyesai! :)

Symfwnw apolyta me ton filo Harry. Kyrie moy, den mas endiaferei poso
megalo bandwidth exete sto panepisthmio sas. Pao stoixhma pos oytos h
allos o monos tropos me ton opoio to axiopoieite einai kanontas download
tolmhres fotografies ellhnidon supermodels. Parakalo sobareyteite!

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     "Bad English" signs around the world
     
     Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
     discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E'
     for Effort.
     
     In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you
     are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
     
     In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
     During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
     
     In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit
     up.
     
     In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
     wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should
     press a number of wishing
     floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
     
     In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
     
     In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
     between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
     
     In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
     the job of the chambermaid.
     
     In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
     chambermaid.
     
     In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery:
     You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet
     composers,
     artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
     
     In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
     corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
     
     On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope
     for.
     
     On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red
     beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck
     let loose; beef rashers
     beaten up in the country people's fashion.
     
     Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
     
     In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
     Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
     
     In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
     we will execute customers in strict rotation.
     
     From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by
     150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed
     over the past two
     years.
     
     A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on
     our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
     instance, men and women, live
     together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that
     purpose.
     
     In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
     of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
     used for this purpose.
     
     In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the
     latest Methodists.
     
     In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
     afternoon having a good time.
     
     In a Czechoslovakin tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
     tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
     
     Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on
     your own ass?
     
     In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
     
     In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
     if dressed as a man.
     
     In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
     
     In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them
     in all directions.
     
     On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the
     USSR, you are welcome to it.
     
     In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have
     children in the bar.
     
     In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
     suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
     
     In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other
     diseases.
     
     In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water
     served here.
     
     In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
     they are best in the long run.
     
     From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
     conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in
     your room, please control
     yourself.
     
     From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot
     heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but
     if he still obstacles your
     passage then tootle him with vigor.
     
     Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance: - English well speaking -
     Here speeching American.
     
     In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
     porter.
     
     A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has
     been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
     
     On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to
     right.
     
     In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coates made for ladies from
     their own skin.
     
     On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranted to work
     throughout its useful life.
     
     Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
     
     In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
     
     In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend
     courteous, efficient self-service.
     
     In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
     shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

Constantinos Dimitriou

cd230(@)cam.ac.uk

Just Postpone It (R)

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