JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)


Θέμα: Things you will learn while at college



(nil): ilias (i(@)daraklitsas.freeserve.co.uk)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 12 Μάι 2000 - 09:29:02 EEST

Things you will learn while at college

1. You can never have enough quarters (laundry).

2. Doing laundry at 3:00 AM on a Tuesday is a common occurence.

3. There are two types of clothes. Dirty and Funky. Dirty can be worn,

   funky should be washed.

4. There is a reason why dining hall food is all you can eat.

5. In the dining hall, if you can't identify it, don't eat.

6. Grilled cheese is like a god-send.

7. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.

8. Flip-flops become as important as soap and shampoo.

9. Goldfish swimming in the toilets will not strike you as strange.

10. You and your roomate will not listen to the same music.

11. The louder music wins (see #10).

12. Any class before 11 AM is early.

13. IEA is the class from hell (RPI students only).

14. Any sport can be made into a "dorm sport" (i.e. dorm

    soccer, and dorm baseball).

15. The class syllabus is always right.

16. 4 AM fire drills are not a rare occurence.

17. Going home doesn't sound that bad anymore.

18. There is no such thing as normal.

19. Getting to sleep at 3 AM is a good night.

20. Chemistry labs take forever.

21. Chemical engineering labs take even longer.

22. You will begin to take naps again.

23. You will find out who your true friends are.

24. Cereal is not just for breakfast.

25. Textbooks cost more than you could imagine. Get

    them used whenever possible.

26. Going to Price Chopper becomes a big deal (East

    coast schools only).

27. Always wear your safety googles, they're not kidding.

28. Mountain Dew and Coffee are now considered food groups.

29. Frisbee becomes a contact sport.

30. "The Spirit of Christmas" is a classic.

31. You will learn to hope for a professor whose accent

    you can understand.

32. Get to know your TA, they have almost complete control

    over your grade.

33. You only thought people had stopped listening to Vanilla Ice.

34. College would be really cool if it weren't for the classes.

STUDENS GIGLES

The Dictionary: what mathematics professors say and what they mean by it

Clearly: I don't want to write down all the "in-between" steps.

Trivial: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.

It can easily be shown: No more than four hours are needed to prove it.

Check for yourself: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it
on your own time.

Hint: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.

Brute force: Four special cases, three counting arguments and two long
inductions.

Elegant proof: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is
less than ten lines long.

Similarly: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as
before.

Two line proof: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't
question 'em if you can't see 'em.

Briefly: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.

Proceed formally: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their
true meaning.

Proof omitted: Trust me, It's true.

Approximately ten excuses for not doing homework:

- I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.

- I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually
reach it.

- I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.

- I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it
converged.

- I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

- I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate
it.

- I couldn't figure out whether I am the square of negative one or I am the
square root of negative one.

- I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee, and then I
spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.

- I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this
morning I couldn't find it.

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