WHY SHIT HAPPENS

Taoism: Shit happens.

Catholicism: Shit happens to you because you are BAD.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Atheism: No shit.

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit happens."

Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening.

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Islam: It is the will of Allah that shit happens.

Existentialism: What is shit?

Existentialism: The burden of shit.

Existentialism: Knowing that the world is shit makes it no longer shit.

Atheism: I don't believe in shit, therefore, it can't happen to me.

Americanism: Who gives a shit?

Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn't shit.

Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays.

Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.

Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.

Stoicism: This shit is good for me.

Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.

Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.

Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!

Atheism: you're full of shit

Computerism: why won't this shit work?

Analism : I want to see where shit comes from

Deism : something, somewhere, created all this shit

Reaganism : I don't remember shit

Bushism : read my shit

Egocentrism : I made all this shit

Pessimism : there will be more shit

Optimism : this shit, too, will pass

Scientology: Do you believe this shit?!?

BBSism: I CTRL-C the shit.

Communism: Everyone's shit is everyone else's shit

Capitalism: The more you work, the more you don't have to take shit

Realism: Life is shit

Idealism: I can handle this shit

Positive thinkingism: Shit is what you make it

Predictionism: The shit is going to hit the fan

Patriotism: My shit, right or wrong

Materialism: Whoever dies with the most shit wins

Descartes-ism: I think, therefore I shit

Universalism: "The same shit happens to everybody".

Unitarian: "What does this shit really mean anyway?".

Agnostic: "Maybe shit happens, and then again maybe it doesn't".

PAGANISM: Let's worship this shit.

EGOCENTRICISM: This is everybody else's shit.

REPUBLICANISM: If the Government shits enough, it'll trickle down to =

everyone.

SOCIALISM: Everyone has a right to be shat upon equally.

Costis

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