JotD / QotD Ελληνική Λίστα Ανεκδότων (JotD)

Θέμα: Microsoft Market Penetration

(nil): Apostolos Georgakis (apostolos(@)zeus.csd.auth.gr)
Ημερομηνία: Παρ 27 Αυγ 1999 - 13:12:19 EEST

sorry gia to english (einai apo newsgroup)

Microsoft Market Penetration
=========================

INTRODUCING CONTRACEPTIVE98 ! ! !

Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every
aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a
suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft
has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It
believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in
penetrating the copulation enhancement market.

The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus
protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of
life.

The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus
1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities). A free
copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite
also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional is the
Client / Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services
sector.

Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed
at the housewife and gigolo niches.

While Contraceptive98 does not address non-traditional copulatory
channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year. They will be known
as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and JerkOff.

OPERATION

Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the package.
At installation, the Condom98 software checks for minimum hardware. If
the user meets the requirements, the product installs and is
sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After installation,
operation commences. One caution is that the user must have sufficient
RAM to complete the session. When the session is complete, a disconnect
is initiated, and the user gets the message, "It is now safe to turn off
your partner."

DRAWBACKS

Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern
during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious error
encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs, but most of these have
been eliminated. The product needs to be installed each time its used.

CONCLUSION

Contraceptive98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it is a
reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far superior to
its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of the software, that
is) will add missing functionality, such as Backout and Restore,
Uninterruptible Power Supply, and Onboard Camera (Peepy Cam). Microsoft
CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive98's potential. He
recently said, "Our contraceptive products will help our customers do to
each other what we've been doing to them for years." 

--
      Apostolos Georgakis                        //      //  //     //
     Dipl. in Mathematics                      // //    //  //    // //
          PhD Student                        //__ //   //  //   //__ //
                                           //     //  //  //  //     //
   Department of Informatics              ------------------------------
Aristotle Univ. of Thessaloniki              Artificial Intelligence &
GR-54006 Thessaloniki (BOX 451)              Information Analysis lab
            GREECE
e-mail: apostolos(@)zeus.csd.auth.gr, tel:+30 31 996361, fax:+30 31 998419
     ICQ:44614732 URL-> Lab's Page: http://poseidon.csd.auth.gr
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